(Closed) Not doing a registry?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

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mathiasenn :  You can tell them you didn’t register, or you can create a small registry at say, bed bath and beyond for some fancy new sheets, plush towels, a couple kitchen utensils you like, but never felt you should spend on yourself. That way people who want to give you a gift, can give you something you’ll like and eventhough it’s not something you NEED, it’s something you want or an upgrade to your existing items.

Post # 3
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

If you truly don’t need/want anything: “That’s so sweet of you to ask! Since we already live together, we really don’t need anything so aren’t registered anywhere. Hey, did you see that (insert random current event or topic change here).”

If you would like cash instead: “Thanks for asking! We don’t need any household items, and are just saving up for the honeymoon (house reno, house down payment, etc) at this time.”

Post # 4
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

There is absolutely no way that I would ever in a million years think that a couple who didn’t register would be greedy!

One caveat, though: people who will still want to give you a gift will either give cash or maybe some random thing that they think you’d like.  If you’re ok with this, great – if not, you might want to have some guidelines – I went to a wedding where they said “make a donation to your favorite charity” (that was very clear) and a couple of others where they did a honeymoon or other ‘cash’ registry (which was helpful in cases where I felt like giving cash would have been impersonal).

Post # 5
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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mathiasenn :  We didn’t register either – I think it’s just another awful way of asking for gifts (here!  buy me this exact thing!).  It’s simple – you just say “we didn’t register.”  

Post # 7
Member
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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mathiasenn :  Back to square one! Certain people feel they have to bring gifts and are more comfortable with registries. We weren’t going to do a registry bc we don’t need any household items and certainly don’t need or want cash but I created registries with Macy’s and Target, a couple items each all under $50 for the stubborn folks. There are always a few that won’t take no for an answer. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I don’t really have any advice, but just wanted to say kudos for not doing one because you realize you already have more than enough stuff. A lot of people would still want all the stuff even if they already had too much…. I do plan on doing one myself because we literally won’t have any stuff for our kitchen if I don’t. Props though and congrats!

Post # 9
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

We asked that people donate to charity instead, so it was clear that the lack of registry really did mean we didn’t want anything for ourselves.

Aunts and uncles disregarded this and gave cash anyway, but our other guests really did listen.

Post # 10
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

They can give you their well wishes and their attendance at your wedding, if that’s applicable. 

Post # 11
Member
391 posts
Helper bee

When asked about it, I would just explain that you really dont need anything and their presence in your life and at your wedding is gift enough. Most people will just send a nice card and/or give cash. 

Post # 12
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
mathiasenn :  I’d say do a small registy to appease the guests. There are bound to be new things you need like towels and sheets and a few kitchen supplies off amazon. I see what you mean about not wanting one, but it sounds like your guests are coming from a good place. Crystal….upgraded bar set, sea food knives and forks are a way to start. Fine China too…

I didn’t want to register either…but I realized it made things easier on my guests.

Post # 13
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

If people ask where you are registered. Simply say we didn’t register

Post # 14
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

For those that insist could you think of any experiences that you would like instead of physical gifts? If you like to travel then thats an easy one. Other ideas are contributions towards date nights like restaurant vouchers or couples spa experiences. If you have any hobbies you do together you could ask for something for those e.g camping equipment.

Post # 15
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Say you didnt register and that you arent expecting any gifts, including monetary gifts. However, I still suggest that you have a registry because I can GUARANTEE you that you will find at least something to put in it. Go to myregistry.com and check out their inspiration boards and to see what other people are adding in. That can give u a start in creating ur registry. Check it out!!

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