(Closed) Not Dress Regret…. Dress GUILT. :-

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@csteen85:  You’ve already got it coming, you love it -right.  Just keep it, and find other ways to save on other items.  I’m sure your frugal Future Mother-In-Law could help πŸ˜‰

Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Dont feel guily! Please dont.

If you love the dress and feel beautiful in it and can truly afford it, then keep it, you deserve at least one splurge for your big day and its okay if its your dress! Smile

Post # 5
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Would your mom be willing to put money toward the dress??  Perhaps she could just give you what she had intended to budget for.  That way you are not out the total cost of the dress you love.  I would defintily keep the dress and open a dialog with her.  Perhaps she is feeling guilty too.

Post # 6
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I have a feeling I’m going to be in this situation tomorrow. My parents have offered to pay for 2/3 of my wedding, but this was before Fiance and I got engaged. We never really talked about what the actual budget will be. Fiance have since talked about a budget and I have a feeling that when I sit down with my mom tomorrow to go over some preliminary research I’ve done and what our budget is, I don’t think she’s going to still want to cover 2/3. (Although that’s fine, Fiance and I are okay with spending what we’ve come up with for a budget, without my parents help).

$1200 seems like a very reasonable price for a dress. Perhaps your mother can contribute what she can afford towards the dress and you can see if you can make a few cuts from other places in your budget and still afford the dress…

Post # 8
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes she should have been up front, before you even step foot in the car to leave for the bridal shop. If you love it keep it, 1200$ is a reasonable (and below average) price to pay for a gown, you may loose money if you sell it. 

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should keep the dress you love. You have already gotten to the point of ‘no returns’ so I wouldn’t worry about a dress you could have bought. You will look at those pictures FOREVER so you shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to be in something you love. 

Post # 10
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Keep the dress – you totally deserve to have the dress you LOVE! Just talk to you mum about it – with no expectations. I found the dress of my dress of my dreams and it was $1500 over my mums budget! She gave me all the money she could afford towards it and I put in the rest. I still feel like mum bought me the dress (just like she wanted to feel!) πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How horrible for your mom that she had to say she didn’t have the money. If you love the dress and can pay for it why not just let her contribute to alterations?

Post # 12
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m confused – where did the $1500 come from? Was that what you and your mom had established?

Post # 13
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

Sooooo your mom said she doesn’t have the money right now…. But your wedding isn’t until next year? Will she have the money later? I feel like I am missing a piece of the puzzle. I say keep the dress! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

@csteen85:  I hear you!  I’ve struggled with this as well (especially since I’ve also had doubts about my dress, too), so that along with the $ guilt has made me crazy some days!  Especially when I find out that some of my friends got their dresses for $300 and $170…  It’s so hard, because usually when you have to pay for the rest of the dress, that’s when other major wedding expenses start popping up, too.  For me, that’s when I feel most guilty about spending so much $ on a dress…  I don’t have any really great advice, just wanted to let you know I completely understand what you’re going through.

Post # 15
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m wondering if maybe your mom was going to save $X per month for X months and that’s how she was going to come up with $1500? And maybe she’s embarrassed that she couldn’t just do it now?

I’m a major, “Help people save face,” person… so I would probably approach it with something like, “Hey Mom, I know I kind of jumped the gun when I found that perfect dress, and got it super early. I don’t want to take away your special contribution, but I imagine you probably weren’t expecting it to come so far in advance… Did you want to ‘buy’ the dress later? Or I was thinking you may want to help with my flowers instead… Or we’ll have tapped out of our ‘wedding savings’ when it comes to booking for our honeymoon…”

I’d just pick something that you know your mom would be sentimental about and offer it as an option… I think if you’re casual about it and continue to be excited and loving with her, it’ll smooth over just fine.

Also since you can afford it, totally keep the dress. πŸ™‚

 

The topic ‘Not Dress Regret…. Dress GUILT. :-’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors