(Closed) Not engaged and so sad!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn

Would you be okay with having a simple, civil marriage and then having a celebration later when you’ve saved up the money? If so, drop some hints that you are okay with this scenario and maybe he’ll be more likely to pop the question. I mean, clearly he already plans on spending his life with you. He wouldn’t have adopted your daughter otherwise.

Post # 4
31 posts

: i can see where you have pain. words of comfort- just bc he seems to be patient doesn’t mean he isn’t itching on the inside to marry you, too. adopting your daughter is a HUGE commitment. admitting that he doesn’t have sufficient funds to provide you with the wedding you deserve can be something even harder to do! just remember that we all have different expectations of getting married. a year ago i swore i didn’t want to get married until i could afford a house, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t wish i could marry my bf asap! i believe he’s just trying to make sure he has enough saved to get you EVERYTHING you deserve. 

just keep remembering how beautiful your relationship is. i’ve heard of worse situations :] keep yourself busy by planning your wedding and think about it this way– everyday you can add something to your wedding list and feel secure that your Fiance will have $ to buy it!!!

hope that helps <3

Post # 5
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

As pp suggested, have you two talked about City Hall? If what you really want is to be married, and not a wedding, this may be your best bet. You could always have a reception in the park or a restaurant with just your closest friends and family.

Post # 6
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Justice of the Peace weddings are cheap. I am having one on the 9th, and our “formal” wedding on the 16th of June. You don’t need to have the big shabang right out of the gate.

Post # 9
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nicash22:  I agree with PP’s this is a hard situation but this man is clearly committed to you. Waiting sucks, so hard, but I think it might also be worth mentioning if he doesn’t already know this, how long you are happy to wait to get married after the proposal? Some guys just think “proposal = wedding” and they have to be ready to be married right then and there when they propose. My SO knows he has roughly 2 years after he proposes of ‘being engaged’ and planning before we actually tie the knot, which has helped him enormously because his biggest issue is he feels we are “too young”.
Good luck & **HUGS** 

Post # 10
2641 posts
Sugar bee

@Nicash22:  he ADOPTED YOUR DAUGHTER!!! Honestly to me, thats more of a committment than being engaged! He made a lifetime commitment right there.


He is smart, and unfortunetly my SO is the same way (darn them :p) He doesnt see the point in spending money on a wedding if you cant afford to buy a house. He doesnt want to be in debt over it either, so for us its defintely waiting until we can financially start our lives together.



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