(Closed) Not engaged yet, but the ring is picked out, is it okay to book the venue??

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1140 posts
Bumble bee

I would say go ahead and book it. I bought my dress 1 month before we were officially engaged because it needed to be ordered. Heck we already agreed on the wedding date prior…lol. 

Post # 4
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Is the deposit non-refundable? 

Post # 5
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We booked our hall before becoming officially engaged. I don’t think it’s a big deal, as long as you are both solid that it is happening and have the major details worked out. If you were going on your own after discussing the possibility of getting married soon, then I’d say it’s a bit early to get on it.

Post # 6
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I wouldn’t do it. I believe you when he say he will propose but life happens so I wouldn’t take the chance. Plus, your tastes/budget may change closer to the time of engagement. 

Post # 7
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s a decision you and your boyfriend have to make together. If he’s okay with it too, then I don’t see any harm in it! I have a friend that did this and everything worked out fine 🙂 I just wouldnt book anything without him fully knowing about it!


Post # 8
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What does your Boyfriend or Best Friend think?  I think it’s a little weird to book a venue before you’re actually engaged, but if your Boyfriend or Best Friend is ok with it then I guess I don’t see a problem.  However, if you pick a day and book a venue I would have a hard time not considering you engaged at that point – even though he didn’t officially ask you and you don’t have a ring.

PS: Congrats!

Post # 9
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t book it. Things happen, and he might not propose when you expect him to. Or you two might decide you want a longer/shorter engagement. And he needs to be completely on board with that decision.

Post # 10
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I also wouldn’t do it.  

Post # 11
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsElopement:  I didn’t see this before I posted, but this is a good point.  It’s hard to book a venue when you don’t know the size and budget of your wedding.

Post # 12
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t do it. There’s a thread on here just in the last few days, by a girl whose Fiance bought the ring in November and let all this time pass, and when she finally had a total breakdown because she thought he’d changed his mind, he finally proposed – he said he hadn’t realized so much time had passed.

Wait until you have the ring on your finger.

Post # 13
149 posts
Blushing bee

We booked our venue before we were officially engaged. But we also set a budget and guest list before we did that.  We had a specific date in mind and the venue is right in our budget and we didn’t want to lose it.

Post # 15
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Given the reasons you stated, I think it makes sense to go ahead and book it.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation.  She went to a wedding with her then-BF at a very popular venue.  This place was so popular that there was a 2 year waiting list for it.  She had casually mentioned to her Boyfriend or Best Friend that she would want her wedding at that place (all of her friends knew it too).  The next day he went to the venue and booked it – even though he had not proposed yet.  They happen to have a cancellation about 18 months out so he lucked out.  When he proposed he told her when they were getting married and she was so touched that he actually booked the place.

Post # 16
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@rachaelp:  Yes-Book it! we just did the same thing–we had a very specific date in mind (he already bought the ring as well-which might I add was 3x the cost of our deposit on a venue) and venues were booking up fast, the peace of mind to have the date and venue we wanted is worth it!

ETA: he also asked my dad’s permission when we were putting the deposit down…so what if things are a little backwards its not like once you are actually engaged your fiance can’t just pull out before the wedding either! You just have to trust your relationship and do what is best for you both!

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