(Closed) Not engaged yet, foregoing wedding and e-ring

posted 5 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@indigo_love:  I’m getting there! My SO and I just had another “timeline” discussion because we’ve been talking wedding details a LOT lately and we needed to get realistic. I have a huge family and always thought I needed a huge reception. I still kind of want it but after going to my BFF’s wedding where it was just parents, siblings and me, I kind of want to just run off and get married like that! 

The past 4 weddings in our families have been “sort of elopments”. Again, huge family, so it’s just too expensive to do anything else. It makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons. I think if you aren’t **really** excited about a big wedding, you really shouldn’t do it. There’s no reason! Too much stress and money for something you don’t even want!

Post # 4
4056 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was 35, one month shy of 36, when I MET my now Fiance. I had never been engaged or even close to being engaged before him. 

If a wedding Ian’s a ring is what you’ve wanted for 13+ years, don’t let that go!!! I feel like you might regret it. 

If money is your only hang up, go smaller. Have a courthouse wedding with a killer dinner for a few close family/friends or do a more casual thing with tons of people if that what you want. I always wanted a killer party with the people who mean the most to me. If that is what you want, figure out a way to do it – you can get what you want without spending a ton of money

Post # 5
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If finances are the problem, but you still want a wedding and and an engagement ring, it can be done. There are plenty of alternatives out there to a diamond ring that will be a lot cheaper.  If you want a wedding but don’t want to wait to save up for something big, have a little intimate one, or do a lovely destination beach wedding. It sounds like you need to talk with your partner about the potential budget for these things and make sure he knows that he doesn’t need to save for years to pay for it all. I would urge you to at least do something to celebrate your engagement and marriage because its a very special time in your life and so what it it came a little later than it did for the rest of your family. 


Post # 6
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with the others here that you don’t have to sacrifice a ring and a wedding! You can get both for very low prices as there are many options out there.

Post # 7
220 posts
Helper bee

I think you have to do what you want! Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks just make sre it’s really what you want! Age is only a number. I do understand where you are coming from. I was 35 too.

Post # 8
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Do what you want! If you want an e-ring and you want a wedding, don’t miss out on them! Here’s what I’d do…start planning now. You know the engagement is coming. Go ahead and start planning details. You could do a small ceremony. Do you know anyone who is an ordained minister? You could just go to a pretty location, or if you know someone with a good back yard, and have a small wedding. Then have a cook out or get catering from a local restaurant. So if you plan now, you could have the wedding details finalized quickly after you get the ring. But if you would truly be happy without a wedding, then I wouldn’t worry about what other people say. 🙂

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