(Closed) Not enough mother of the bride pics

posted 12 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 48
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was pretty angry about the same thing when I saw my daughter’s wedding pictures.   I was the only parent there.  My SIL’s parents and my ex all live in other countries and were not able to attend the wedding.   The photographer knew who I was as we met when he was hired and I paid the bill.   Yet there are only a couple of photos of me with my daughter and SIL and none with me and my daughter. 

For my wedding this year, I am rehiring some of the same vendors we used.  The photographer is not one of them.

Post # 49
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am sorry to renew the thread but really wanted to speak up. I have to agree with starfish0116

As a photographer, wedding days can be manic, people dissappear for photos, people get sick of waiting around and group shot lists get overlooked – It happens! I have had to deal with a list of over 80 group shot photos with a wedding that had less than 60 guests! I have brides whine that the photos are taking so long as they wait for their mother to come back from the bar and the bride ended up storming off crying before the mother returned. I have had grooms that have flatly refused their photo being taken at all much to the annoyance of his parents.

A wedding day is a constantly changing situation but the photographers priority MUST be the bride and groom not inlaws or parents.

On another note, I have only one picture of my mother from my wedding and that was a formal posed with my husband and father, yes it can be upsetting that you don’t have one on your own as mother and daughter together but at least there is a photo there to prove you were there.

Please don’t tarnish your daughters big day by complaining about the lack of photos you had with her, you will just build up a huge wall of resentment, anger and regret between you both, its supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

Post # 50
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

This thread taught me a valuable lesson (as I was actually trying to look at some MoB dresses to see what might look good on my mom) that I REALLY need to make sure I get a lot of pictures with me and my mom on my wedding day.  I almost thought it -was- my mom writing this post, but somehow from the future.  Anyway, my dad left my mom in ’09 for another woman and my mom is still REALLY upset about it.  My dad is officiating and I’ve grown to have a somewhat civil relationship with his new wife so I don’t want to exclude her, but @MOBwBrokenHeart‘s post really made me realize how badly it could hurt my mom if she’s overlooked (even on accident).  I don’t condone her actions by any means, but it’s really opened my eyes.  I’m getting married in two years and I know my mom is still probably going to be totally upset about the divorce and how my dad did us (after he left I told mom that he didn’t just divorce her, but he divorced me, too, which is really what it felt like because he moved away and I get to see him maybe once a month now).  However, I’m trying to move on with my life and mend what’s broken.  I’m just so thankful I stumbled across this post so I can be extra prepared on my big day!

Post # 51
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Even though I just got married, this is my first time posting to wedding bee. I am crushed after getting back my wedding photos and realizing that not only do I have very few photos of my mom, I have zero just with her. In fact, the only time we’re in the same shot together is the formal portrait session afterward with my husband (whole fam shot and then my parents and husband with me). It’s just the saddest thing and has put a huge damper on what had felt like a perfect day at the time. Truth is, in the chaos, my mother and i barely saw each other and she was late getting ready before hand. So, we never realized we never got a photo together. I know there’s nothing I can do and I need to move on but it’s hard to look at any photos of the wedding at this point without thinkint about this and feeling overwhelmingly sad. I even have a photo WITH my Mother-In-Law, but not my mom. And my husband has so many shots with different members of his family.

I am jealous of people who just have one photo with their moms at this point. I feel like I missed that one momento I really wanted and wished I realized this in the moments of the day. How do people recommend moving on from something like this when it’s supposed to be such a major life event for the couple and their families?

My mom was hurt too to top it off.

My photographer apologized and offered faking up a portrait session but I didn’t take it because having it on another day isn’t the same and would just feel phony. I specifically hired two photographers to not worry about the shots and this is what happens. (Not to mention a whole other slieu of issues including the fact that he never captured anyone who wasn’t on the dance floor).

Again, would appreciate any recommendations on how to move forward and remember the day for what it felt like in the moment.

Post # 52
Member
251 posts
Helper bee

I’m confused about why your photographer apologized. if you we’re never in the same place at the same time, how was she supposed to take photos of something that didn’t exist? I’m going to guess that if she didn’t help the bride get ready, about 50% of my weddings the only photo of the bride and her mom together is probably posed. If it didn’t happen naturally and you don’t want it faked, there are no other options. Youre married, you’re alive. Just let it go. 

Post # 53
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

Most wedding photographers photograph the events as they unfold around them, with the primary focus being on the couple.  If a particular person isn’t in the vicinity of the couple for most of the day, you can’t really expect them to appear in many photographs.  It’s certainly not the photographer’s responsibility to track them down outside of doing the family photos.

Post # 53
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
soy:  My daughter just got married two days ago.  The photographer was amazing, except she did not take any photos of my daughter and I together.  NOT ONE!! Yes the day was hectic, I was making sure everything was perfect. All the last minute things that the bride can’t find, etc. I was pulled in and out of the dressing area.  I kept asking “are we going to take pictures?” She was taking pictures of the girls and arranging the rings etc.  Everytime I would wait then get asked to do something.  My daughter was so excited she did not even notice. I can never get that back and it hurts deeply. So have a care with us “MOMS” we have feelings too.

Post # 54
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
Jbbee:  I expected the photographer to have a schedule of “must have” photos. They are the professional.  MOM & or DAD is paying them most of the time.  She made time to get the payment, she could have listened to me when I asked her when we could take photos because I did not want to be missed. Now, I have zero photos because weddings (at venues) are timed. So is that my daughter does not love me? or that asking 10 times in 2 hours. 

Post # 55
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
ale312:  This just happened to me at my daughters wedding 2 days ago.  I am crushed, hurt, and unbearable depressed. I don’t know how to move forward. I will be following your post in hope that someone out there has some good advice.

Post # 56
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

This thread is 5 years old. It was resurrected 2 years ago. 

I could care less if I was in any of the photos, even though my husband and I paid for 100% of the wedding expenses. Both daughters married the love of their lifes and both couples had the time of their lives, celebrating at their weddings. And that’s what really matters the most. 

Post # 57
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I plan to have a heart to heart with my photographer (once I decide who it’ll be…sheesh.  I have  a pretty solid lineup of choices, just not sure which one to go with) and talk about who needs to be featured.  I’m also getting a second shooter to help assure it will happen!

Post # 58
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have only one photo of me and my dad walking down the aisle and it is horrible. I do not have a photo of just me and my mum. I only have one photo of my side of the family and it is also horrible. I don’t have a photo of me and my parents together, not a single one. I don’t have a photo of my grandad and I and he is now deceased. the photo with my inlaws is crap. Safe to say I should have got a better photographer. I think I have only 4 photos of the whole day that I am happy with. So think of yourself as lucky with the amount of photos you had. 

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