(Closed) Not Even a B-List Guest!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We received an invitation to a wedding last minute from a couple that is in our social circle, but not really our close friends.  It was OBVIOUS we were Z-listed, but to be honest, I was honored that they chose to invite us at all.  We went, had a great time, and they are coming to our wedding as well.

Post # 4
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I recieved an invite “through email” from an aquantance.. they had 2 ceremonies (hindu and traditional).. I went to the hindu one because I knew it was the more casual of the two.. showed my face.. took a video with my phone which I later sent to the bride via fb.. AND then she had the nerve to ask her SIL (one of my best friends) how after all the trouble she went through to invite me how I ended up not coming to the traditional ceremony! Eek!

Post # 5
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What SHOULD she have done? I mean I’m sure I’m going to have blantant and obvious last minute invites, and if you are offended by that I’m sorry- it is tough, just delcine and I’ll offend/ invite someone else.

Post # 6
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t like that either.  That’s why we chose to only have 1 list – invited or not.  It seemed like it would just cause hurt feelings if we had a B list.

Post # 7
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t take it personally.  We didn’t even have a B list and we forgot one couple that was definitely on our list but somehow were overlooked… I didn’t get to send them an invite until 2 weeks after the originals went out.  Sometimes it happens.

Post # 8
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Yea, it sucks that you know your a last minute add on, but they liked you enough to give you a chance. I would go, because I love weddings! Sorry that you were offended. 🙁

Post # 9
3 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

We just had one list. I knew not everyone would be able to make it- with that in mind, we invited 20% more guests

Post # 10
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’d look past it and go, weddings are so much fun, A  list or B list, good food, good music, wedding traditions, it’s all good


Post # 11
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had LAST minute cancellations to our wedding and I FB invited a casual friend/former co-worker and she was thrilled I asked. She KNEW it was a last minute invite and didn’t seem offended. In the end we had 8 NO shows= to about $1,000 I wish I would have last minute invited other casual friends/ acquaintances  and had them enjoy the food, fun and drink. I figured most people would be offended so I opted for the empty seats. One thing’s for sure with weddings, you can’t please everyone!

Post # 12
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

i wouldnt be offended either. At least they thought to invite you at all. There are so many people i would like to invite that i cant so if i get some guest dropping out at the last minute, i plan on calling some of those people and inviting them.

Post # 13
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I feel ya!  I once got an invitation to a destination wedding…the day after the wedding happened.  The postmark was 2 days before the wedding…obvious gift grab there. lol

Post # 14
3142 posts
Sugar bee


see, in this case, I think its totally fine and I too would be thrilled, but I am kinda getting the gist of the OPs case is that it was kind of like an… honor to be invited at all?  Not sure if I have it right.

In this case, a simple…. “we had a last minute cancellation, IF you don’t already have Easter plans, I would be thrilled if you can make it”

Post # 15
3265 posts
Sugar bee

B-lists (or Z lists in your case) always seem to cause hurt feelings.  I don’t know how anyone thinks that it is an honour to be asked to be a seat filler at the last minute.  It looks like you don’t want to miss out on any potential gifts.


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