Post # 1
He says he didn’t want to dissapoint me. What?! So here’s what’s going on. Fiance and I had a baby back in March. He proposed in July. We set a date for Oct 2012. We set it for more than one year out due to the fact that our house is on the market and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. (Damn housing market) A couple days ago Fiance told me that he dropped the price of the house and asked for help from his parents with the commission. I asked him if he realized that there was a weddng being planned and if he’s asking for help with the house then why is he letting me plan this crazy wedding we can’t even afford. He said he didnt want to let me down. I seemed so excited. I was just about to send in the deposits… So now I can’t help but be heartbroken
Post # 3
So, you sit down as a couple and figure out a plan.
Do you need to sell the house to reduce your monthly financial commitments?
Do a budget on a spreadsheet. List income and non- negotiable expenses.
Is there any way to increase your income- part-time or second jobs? doing day care?
Look at the expenses that are optional, the ones where you do have some control. What can be reduced, changed, eliminated?
You can be married and not incur huge expenses. There are many great examples here on WeddingBee of intimate family weddings that are held in someone’s home or yard.
Post # 4
That’s too bad 🙁
You said you were planning “a crazy wedding” that you couldn’t afford though…could you maybe scale it down a bit and still go ahead with it?
Post # 5
That really sucks! I am sorry you are dealing with this right now – even if you get over it in an hour and find a different solution, it’s hard to bring yourself back to earth when you get excited about something.
I am sure you guys will work it out – either wait for the big “expensive” (I use that as a relative term – if you can’t afford it now, it’s expensive) wedding, or plan an intimate, low cost option so you can get married sooner!
I can say, as someone with an “average” wedding budget planning a traditional and fairly “average” wedding, sometimes I get jealous of the people planning a backyard or park affair that is low-key, intimate and to me, incredibly romantic.
But as PP said, the most important thing is to communicate as a couple and figure out what is realistic to both of you. Good luck!
Post # 6
@julies1949: she suggested all the things I was going to say
Other than her advice, I wish you luck and hope you can come to a compromise.
Post # 7
How about planning a less expensive wedding? If you do your research, you will still have a beautiful wedding with a low budget.
I got engaged April 24th. Our wedding is November 27th. Very short time to plan, but so far so good and we are on budget! 🙂 You just have to take some time to do some more planning. Make sacrifices. If you are not willing to make sacrifices, then wait to have the wedding when you can afford it. At least its not be postponed due to relationship issues!
Post # 8
Not for nothing, but since you already have a little baby, could you maybe get married in a civil ceremony just to make it legal (FI and I are all about the sharing insurance thing, etc.) and then after your housing situation dies down and you are in a better financial place w/o all the stress, have a vow renewal? That way you can get the benefits of marriage without the money strain and by combining resources, it might help you out faster. Just a thought.
I do feel for you though, I can’t imagine how dissapointed you must be right now.