Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together just about 7 months now! That is the longest for either of us and we have already started planning out wedding! But my brother doesnt return home from serving an LDS Mission till Dec and I really want Marcus to meet him before we are engaged. I’d also really like to meet his familiy too! Unfortunately we are both in Casa Grande AZ for school and his family is in Ukiah CA!
The hardest part is that I’m LDS and he isn’t. This means we wont be marrying in the temple. I have NO IDEA how to plan a nontemple wedding!!! and what are VOWS?? He wants his grandfather to marry us, and I want to be married under a weepingwillow tree in a gazebo… yep thats all we have!
We don’t live together, i cant live with a man unless he is my husband but golly its hard! Im not beign a traditional mormon and its hard with my family expectations. All i know is that im gonna marry this man!
Post # 3
Why the rush? It has only been a few months.
Post # 4
At just 7 months into a relationship, and not having even met each other’s families, I’d personally want to slow things down and enjoy the new relationship while it’s still new. It’s okay to daydream about weddings, but starting to actually plan so early in the relationship just adds all sorts of stress and worry. You’ve not had a chance to build your relationship to the point where it can withstand that stress. Enjoy now for now. Let weddings come later, and hopefully the time spent building the relationship will help carry you through the planning. It is really one of the most stressful, difficult things you will go through as a couple.
Post # 5
@EAB: Slow down. I get that mormons marry quickly (and usually young), but that doesn’t mean it’s always right for each couple.
Take some more time and make sure that you have discussed the important issues… money, kids, religion (issue already that he isn’t mormon, right? I’m not saying it can’t work but it could be complicated). Planning the wedding is only the start, and it sounds to me like that’s what you’re focused on. I really think you need to take a step back, make sure the relationship is solid, and then tackle all the wedding planning issues. Seven months is NOT a long time to be together…
Post # 7
I’m going to have to disagree with PP’s…I’ve only been with my Fiance for 6 months and we are happily engaged. Granted we aren’t planning on marrying until May 2014 but what’s so wrong about getting engaged quickly? When you know you know. you’re saying I will not I do. I say just enjoy this pre engagement time and then once your officially engaged you can worry about the wedding…Oh and vows are a sort of promise speech (either written by the bride and groom themselves or using pre written ones) where each person declares there love and promises to stand by their partner through the marriage. Good luck!
Post # 8
I would definitely make a point to meet eachother’s families before ever getting engaged.
Post # 9
If you’re still in school, you’re too young to consider marriage after only 7 months. Also, religious differences can be a HUGE problem in relationships. Read the thread about the bee who is divorcing because of exactly this.
Post # 10
Girl, I am also LDS so I understand your situation and culture. I want to encourage you to have a LONG (by Mormon standards) dating period, especially if your boyfriend doesn’t share your religion. Religious differences cause problems in any church (Catholic vs. Protestant, Jew vs. Agnostic, etc), but especially in ours where family unity is such a big deal. A lack of religious understanding between you two will cause problems, and you need to make sure that you’re ready to deal with that – or if you’re better off looking elsewhere.
You sound like you’re pretty young, which probably means that your dating experience is fairly limited. I know it’s hard to believe, but if you really want to be married in the temple, there is always another partner out there for you. Your boyfriend is not the only one that you could be happy with.
ETA: You haven’t met his family? Don’t you dare get engaged before you get that taken care of!
Post # 11
Also – PM me if you want to talk to a fellow Mormon about this.
Post # 12
@gangqinjia: I havent met his family in person yet, we talk on skype (me him and his family) all the time!
Post # 13
@mamadingdong: We were We are about to graduate, he is from california and is going back there after graduation in May. I don’t know where I’m going but Im not following him around to a super small town in cali if it isnt going anywhere.