(Closed) Not even sure if i AM waiting…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think that you should sit down with him and have a serious conversation about it.  If you really want to get married but he can’t ever see himself getting married would you stay with him?  You guys both need to be on the same page for the future.  Four years is a long time to be together without having some kind of idea about the future.

Post # 4
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Four years is entirely too long to go without knowing definitively where it’s going.  Sit down and have a good, long heart to heart with him and see if your visions for the future are the same. Good luck. 🙂

Post # 5
340 posts
Helper bee

@SparklyBadger:  At 29 and after 4 years of dating and 1 year of living together he should know if he wants to get married and have kids or not with you. If I were you I would really question your position. You don’t want to waist time. I know you have been with him for 4 years, but another minuet with someone that doesn’t want you want is preventing from you being with someone who does. I stayed with someone that was wrong for me for a long time and didn’t want to love because ‘I had invested so much time into the relationship’ well thank god I left bc now I am with an amazing man that does want to marry me and have kids with me. Good luck, my dear!

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

At 29, he should know by now whether he’s the marrying, family type. 4 years is a long time to be in a relationship and I feel like, at this point, he should at least mostly know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I could understand if he’s not sure about getting married yet, but it’s strange that he doesn’t know if he wants to marry at all. It’s a big red flag if he can’t give you a straight answer. 

I probably would have left when he told you to leave.

Post # 7
699 posts
Busy bee

@SparklyBadger:  4 years is a loooong time but you are only 24 and have your life ahead of you. On the other hand, he shouldn’t be waffling!!!! That’d drive me nuts, either he wants to be married, or not. Just sit him down, get the cotton out of his ears & have him listen. lol

Post # 8
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@SparklyBadger:  He’s old enough and has been w. you long enough to know if he wants to marry you or not. I hate indecisive men… this is why I left my ex for good.

If he can’t give you a straight answer, you’re probably better off w. someone else. Yes you’re only 24, but why waste your 20s on a guy who can’t give you what you want?

Post # 10
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You sound like such a sweetheart. 🙂 I hope it works out for you!

Post # 11
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

My advice is to have this convo before these weddings. So if you break up you do not have to see each other or see other people get married. 

I know what a lot of waiting bees get a lot of anxiety about is going to OTHER people’s weddings. It makes us all crazy. At 4 years, your crazy reserve is just about max right now. 

Sit him down. talk it out. make a clean break if he is giving you wishy washy answers. you still have your whole life to find the man you were ment for, not waist your 20’s on a guy who isn’t going to commit to you

Post # 12
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yeahhhh I’m going to agree with PP that at 29 he should know if he wnats to get married/have a family, and after 4 years with someone should know if he wants that with them. He needs to give you a straight answer, and you need to walk if it’s not what you want to hear,

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