Post # 1

Member
9560 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I have a wedding invite list, shower invite list, rehearsal dinner invite list all in one workbook in excel. I sent it all to my mom to look over.
My mom does not understand why every single female invited to the wedding is not invited to the shower. I tried to explain to her that I was only inviting family from both sides, my friends, her friends, and friend’s of Fiance that I am friendly with.
Then I get a shower invitation to my FI’s cousin’s future wife’s shower. I told my mom about the invite. She said see, “you are invited to that shower.” And I replied that “yes, she is also on my invited list to the shower because she is going to be future family. However the wedding I am going to in 2 weeks, I was not invited to the shower and she is not invited to mine.”
My mom still doesn’t get it. She isn’t going to add anyone without my permission so I am not worried and my Maid/Matron of Honor is sending the invitations anyway. I just don’t know how to explain it anymore clearly.
Post # 3

Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
I had this same exact conversation with my mom last week. I’m gearing up to send out wedding invitations on May 20th so she says to me “you need to review the shower invite list again and maybe add people.”
I told her the list was good to go and no one else should be added. She tried to add my uncle’s girlfriend. She’s a nice lady but she isn’t that significant to me (my uncles go through girlfriends like you wouldn’t believe). So I told her no thanks… I’ll see her at the wedding. She tried to explain to me that all of the women should be invited. I told her that I don’t control much with this process, but from what I understand, the shower list is the ONLY thing I control. It’s whomever the BRIDE wants to see.
Post # 4

Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
Oh lord no! We’re having between 150-200 people come to our wedding and my bridal shower will only have about 10-15 of my closet friends and family. Everyone else can bring a gift to our wedding or have it mailed from our registry!
I feel like for wedidng showers, and even baby showers, it should only be your closest people that you really want to celebrate with. I find it awkawrd to have a bunch of people –some whom you rarely or ever communicat with!
Post # 5

Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
I think in some cultures, you normally invite all the women that are invited to the wedding. But I didn’t do that. Like you, I invited my female family members and good friends and DH’s mother and sisters.