(Closed) Not excited about the wedding

posted 5 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ashleigh6113:  yikes this sounds rough, I’m sorry that you are going through it. I’m glad to hear your fi will be able to make the wedding though! It sounds reasonable that you might be less excited about the details, because the most exciting thing is that he is coming home. In not sure i have any advice, And I’m not in the same situation, but definitely try to let yourself enjoy this time!

Post # 4
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Aww, I haven’t been through a deployment and am not a military wife so take this with a grain of salt. I have, however, done the wedding thing and have spent almost two years doing civilian work in Afghanistan. 

Doll, feel what you feel. It’s ok. I can absolutely see how not having your Fiance with you during this time could easily make it feel secondary or “less real.” You’re doing it all alone, and I’m sure its both exhausting and terrifying. (My husband is going to be working in Somalia all summer so although it’s not military- it is very similarly dangerous to one, if not maybe more so than most areas of Afghanistan so I have a general idea). 

In many ways, I can see how getting Fiance back is more important than the wedding. In the end, the wedding is one day. All of what you’re doing now is prep for your marriage, which will last a life time. I’m sure when he gets home, the wedding will seem a bit more exciting, but even then I’m sure that figuring out how to be around one another and helping him transition back to US life will still probably feel more important and time consuming. (I know it’s always weird for a while when Darling Husband and I are apart and we’ve never been apart for more than 6 months).

Good luck! *hugs*

Post # 5
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I hate reading that someone else is feeling this way.

I’ve lost all excitement. He’s only been gone a few months and is actually scheduled to come back surprisingly soon and then re-deploy. He proposed 10 days before leaving and we decided on a date right before he left. Unfortunately, the wedding party (his side) didn’t agree on the date and he started to feel stressed about planning so he called the whole thing off for now. He’s suggesting a 20 month engagement and I’m somewhat crushed.

I’ve completely stopped planning and I’ve told him to plan the wedding. If we don’t have a wedding 2 years from the engagement date, the agreement is to elope.

Deployment is terrible. 🙁

Post # 7
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ashleigh6113 How sweet of you, I’m glad you’re excited again!

He has currently returned (temporarily) and I think we’re making progress!

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