(Closed) Not Excited About Wedding Anymore

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@GeekChic:  Stop worrying about other people. Nobody is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. If they aren’t excited, and they don’t show up, then they weren’t meant to be there. Let them be the ones that say they wish they were there when they see your photos!

Just let it roll off your back, be as nice as you can to your Fiance, and enjoy your time. Everything else is gravy.

Post # 4
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s okay sweetie! My wedding is 6 mons away and even my mom is already stressed. She’s trying to do too much and make it too over the top and trying to get unecessary things (golf cart to transport all guests when wedding is just in the backyard) and I’m the one paying for it (she’s going to help a bit). I agree no one is going to be as excited as you are. My Maid/Matron of Honor is trying to put off getting her dress till the last minute. Fiance hasn’t really been involved in the planning process at all except to give me money for a payment. Maybe to help get everyone organized is to give them a schedule or timeline for the day of the wedding so everyone is going to know exactly where to be on the big day. Also before the wedding, there needs to be a checklist with a due date to get things finished. I’ve already started making my own and I have it in my calendar on my phone. Just breathe and remember that though its nice to have guests to be there for your special day, no one is required to be there except the bride and the groom (and maybe the wedding officiant!). I had to personally tell my brother this when he told me that he didnt want to be in the wedding if his gf was going to be in it.

Post # 5
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@GeekChic:  My wedding is in June too, not sure your exact date but, mine is June 9th and I feel this way too. I hate to say it but I just want it to be over with. Not the actual wedding but all of the planning, stress, and drama. I can’t take it and I am so over it. I kid you not, every single thing that could go wrong has gone wrong. Here is just a short list:

* My Maid/Matron of Honor never showed up for anything, got demoted to Bridesmaid or Best Man, and now has a serious drug problem. Was recently arrested, is totally unstable, and I have no clue if she will be in the wedding or if I even want her there

* Dresses were ordered in the wrong color because consultant never showed me swatches, I went off of on-line colors. Luckily I was in the shop 4 days later and noticed this. They told me it was too late, the dresses were already being made. I called customer service to see if they could work with me and found out they dresses weren’t being made yet so they were able to change the fabric color (still made they lied to me about that)

* Lost the photographer, videographer, and DJ two months before the wedding. This was all resolved but for a week I cried every single day. It was beyond stressful

* Waited to long to rent chairs and now everywhere I call is either sold out or only has very expensive ones left – still need to make a decision on that

* FI’s Out of Town family didn’t like the reviews on the hotel I picked so they picked their own hotel, way out of the way, in a not so great area. Fiance called his mom and tried to explain this to her but his older brother already booked the rooms and his older brother is the “leader of the pack”. When he hung up I went off about how stupid it was and that when you are visiting somewhere you have never been before you should probably listen to the recommnedations of the people that live there and how I will never be good enough and on and on and on only to find out he never hung up and his mom was on the phone the whole time (actually turned out to be a little funny in the end)

* Bridesmaids dresses still aren’t in and we are 5 weeks out and they all will need alterations

* The vests for the tuxes we picked out were all rented out by the time our guys got fitted so we have to go pick out new tuxes

Sorry, didn’t mean to hijack your thread, just wanted to let you know, I am right there with you honey. SO OVER IT!

Post # 6
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel you. I have some of the same problems you listed…in fact my Fiance asked me what I wanted with reguards to something about the wedding and I said, honestly, I just want it to be over. So over the chairs, logistics, dealing with people.

 

So, I’m trying to focus on the positive things – soon i will be a mrs, our honeymoon and all the fun things we have planned. Plus no matter what happens your wedding is gonna be awesome. Seriously. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@GeekChic:  I feel the same way.  I am so type-A and so overwhelmed now that it is almost time to rock and roll.  I am so worried at how things will play out.  I find my biggest stressor today (because it’s always something else) is if my cake will come out good.  I hope it isn’t a cake-wreck, lol!  Anyway, all of this stress has made it near to impossible to actually enjoy this moment in my life.  I know for a fact I am going to look back on all of this and wish I had taken it easier, but that is just not how my personality works.  I can’t just “relax” as everyone has told me to do.  It doesn’t matter how many times I hear, “Just relax, it’s gonna fly by.” or, “Everything is gonna play out in the end, one way or another.”  Umm, this is THE biggest day of my life.  I can’t just “chill out” and I want it to play out the way I’ve imagined for the past… since I was early enough to form conscious thought.

I wish I had better advice for you, I really do.  But, if I just tell you all I’ve been told, I feel that would be hypocritical, since I cannot live by it and I know how annoying it is to be told these things.

Lately, I’ve been trying to imagine how fun the reception will be.  Thinking about myself on the dancefloor and stuff.  It takes my mind off of the absolute chaos that I anticipate for the actual wedding.

Post # 8
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry. Wedding planning can really stink at times! Just focus on the positive and that after all this is over you will be married to the love of your life and that’s all that really matter.  

Post # 9
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I get it.  Ugh, if you haven’t every planned a wedding you won’t understand.  I’m planning my wedding out of state and we’re the first of our friends/family to get married so no one knows what to do haha.  I also started a new, very stressful job and I’ve gained about 15 pounds so I feel like I’ll be a COW at my wedding.  Our familes are also being difficult and a lot of my friends can’t come and it sucks.  Hang in there!  It will be okay!!!

Post # 10
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@1313Mockingbird:  Word. 

 

OP, I think that you should just concentrate on making yourself happy. Stop worrying about the logistics with your wedding party. Tough question: how often are you emailing/calling your Wedding Party re: logistics? Honestly, unless there is a fire somewhere or an actual event (like you need them to be at a last minute fitting or something), I would hedge that it should be NO MORE THAN once a week. And even then, ask yourself–is this really necessary? Can it wait until the rehearsal dinner? Don’t bother them with every detail–they just want to wear the dress, show up on time, and stand where you tell them to. Because–just to give you a bit of perspective on this–I personally do not take kindly to people calling me with every detail, even if it’s to be friendly and considerate. I once had a bride call me about the location of the church, but instead of just giving me the location, she launched into a 20 minute explanation of directions. I felt like saying, “My dear, I’m busy. I can’t listen to you yammer for 20 minutes. I’m an adult, I can handle punching in an address to google maps.” 

I don’t tell you this to be mean and I’m not trying to assume that you are doing this to your Wedding Party, but if it’s really causing you this grief, then take a deep breath. Some people “relax” by obsessing over details. The problem is, this works normally except that in a wedding, there are too many variables you don’t have control over. So instead, just step back and ask yourself: Am I being ‘directions bride’? 😉

Post # 11
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am trying to force myself to be less excited because I don’t want to be disappointed. My wedding is 6 July & I know that the only ppl that are remotely excited about it is my mum, dad, sister, myself and my fiancée. Only 5 of my fiancées family are coming, a total of 70 out of 110 invited. It’ll be over & done with in a few hours. As long as u have a dress, a good photographer, yummy food, a dance floor & alcohol, it’ll be a great night.

Post # 12
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  OP, I understand! I think everyone goes through this at some point during the planning. It is stressful. There are a lot of decisions to be made, a lot of planning, budgeting…all that good stuff. I am also a June bride and have felt this way. It has nothing to do with my Fiance. I love him to pieces, I want to marry him, but I want the planning to be finished. We’ve had some snafus with scheduling. We’ve also been dealing with both of us finishing grad school this semester and me wrapping up the school year with my students. It adds up for a ton of fun! 🙂

  I keep reminding myself that it will all work out. For me, I have to make sure that I’m also eating right and exercising. If I don’t do those things, it makes the stress that much worse. I also have to remind myself that I am going to be much more excited about certain things than others. I know that people are happy for us, but it’s always a much bigger deal when it’s for you.

  You have certainly had your fair share of stress with the planning! I would definitely talk to your Fiance and give him specific instructions as to what you need him to do, or what he could help with. I’ve found my Fiance wants to help, but he has no clue where to start. Good luck with everything!

The topic ‘Not Excited About Wedding Anymore’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors