Post # 1
I’ve really lost some excitement about planning my wedding. I am overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Though my theme, venue, and colors have changed from the start, there’s a feeling I want and have wanted all along, and I’m just not achieving it nor do I see myself achieving it because the money is just not in place. I’m pretty sure I am going to have to take on a second job to be able to pay for everything. Tax time is coming up and I know I will be receiving a good amount, mostly enough to pay off both my ceremony place and the reception hall, but after that I am left with all the details. I wanted to do my flowers myself, but honestly with shipping costs of online flowers it’s still just as much as a florist in my area. But I feel like no one quite has what I’m looking for and that’s why doing them myself was my alternative. People keep telling me I have plenty of time, but honestly it feels like no time at all, especially since it’s officially the year of the wedding. I was used to saying “next” year. I haven’t found an officiant, I am looking for something I can customize and honestly (even if your budget is huge and this seems like such a small amount), I think $300 (and that was the least expensive person I could find near the ceremony location) is a lot of money to just stand there and say words, especially since I want something really short and simple because we’re writing our own vowels and I want enough time to get out what I have to say. Everyone I’ve looked at has sample ceremonies and I don’t like them, their custom ceremonies cost the most (obviously) but even the guidelines and format of the custom I’m not liking.
I don’t know, I just feel like this isn’t as fun as I wanted it to be, every experience so far wasn’t exactly what I was wanting. Dress shopping wasn’t what I wanted, the venue search wasn’t what I wanted…Maybe I am just bitching for no good reason. Has anyone else felt like I am right now? This just isn’t fun and exciting right now, and I feel bad because I truly love my fiance and can’t wait to be married. I just want to get it over with.
Post # 3
Take a break from it. Step away for a few days. I definitely had some very frustrating days while I was planning. Just walk away, clear your mind, and try to regroup.
Have you looked into having a friend officiate your wedding? Is that legal in your state?
Post # 4
I can empathize.
What about trying to turn it into a how-to-stretch-the-dollars game? That’s helped me get more excited about shopping around.
Also, as far as officiant goes… I’m not sure if this is acceptable to you, but we’re having a friend marry us. He registered as a minister online (free), I’m writing the ceremony (there are a ton of examples and ideas posted online), and it’s totally legal in our state. We’re getting him a nice gift, but it’s way less than $300, and it will be 100% us.
What about looking at wholesale flower packages? BJ’s and costco looked beautiful and have great reviews, and are reasonably priced. I’m going with WedIdeas – Natural touch flowers – and including shipping that comes in $120 less than the cheapest florist quote I got.
Post # 5
I agree that you should take a break from it for a while… i like bakerella’s suggestion of having a friend officiate. EVen if its not legal in your state you could get legally married at city hall a few days before or after and then have your friend “officiate”
Post # 6
It’s legal here as far as I know, but my fiance really didn’t want a friend to do it, he said he would feel too weird. I had suggested that my sister do it and he wasn’t thrilled with the idea. But once I start talking money with him and he sees how stressed I’m becoming, maybe he will change his mind! lol thanks for the suggestions ladies, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling like this. I felt so guilty for feeling so weighed down by it, it’s supposed to be the happiest day and right now I’m feeling really stressed. I’m just going to stop looking at ideas for a while, sometimes too much inspiration is not a good thing on a tight budget! lol
Also, atalante: what are the real touch flowers like? Do you know the quality of them yet? I want real flowers so badly, but price wise I’m not 100% sure it’s going to happen. I’ve been considering some real touch flowers myself.
Post # 7
Hi! sorry to hear ur feeling that way…. ((hugs))
I definitely know what u mean… and I hope u overcome that feeling soon bcuz u deserve to be enjoying this moment in ur life!! you dont want to let money issues bring down the excitement of ur wedding… I also came across some trouble planning my wedding and had some very down moments.. and now i regret having let those things get me down… at the end of the day… its both of urs wedding and u should have it how u want it, how u can afford it and doing it for u and him and no one else!! have u tried doing some searches on craigslist? I had a lot of luck there.. and even contracted some of my vendors that way… and I love them!! they also have a lot of items that people have used for their weddings that they resell… so u might want to try that option.. hope this helps and a lot of bees on here always have plenty of ideas!! hope u feel better hun! and I hope to hear ur doing better very soon!!
Post # 8
@RAWR.its.BREN: Our venue used RealTouch flowers in the centerpieces too. Here’s a pic:
I think if you examine them really closely, you can tell they’re not real. I don’t know how many people actually went through that much trouble though :).
As far as the officiant, I didn’t really feel comfortable having a friend our age do it either. Is there an uncle, aunt or grandparent that would make it seem a little more serious? I love my friends, but I would have felt silly having them marry us. I feel like someone a little older would have been a great compromise, though.
Post # 9
Thanks for the kind words KittyQuick: I am sure I will come out of this once I start seeing how it’s coming together. Craigslist is an option I didn’t even think of. Thank you
@jo.lee: Those flowers look surprisingly nice, thanks so much for the picture. And I believe that’s why he doesn’t want a friend doing the ceremony. I didn’t want them either, but I chose my sister because she is older and an extremely mature women who has done wedding speeches for her friends before. She would actually probably add sophistication to my wedding lol, she was always more mature than me. And because I’m not having a wedding party I wanted her to have a part in my wedding. But he wasn’t found of that idea either, so we will see what happens there!