(Closed) not excited for my wedding …

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Aww i’m sorry hun! It is still early in the schem of things, who knows how you will feel in the next few months.

This happens a lot- where the people who pay have the final say. I see where you Fiance is comming from, he knows how lucky you guys are to have somenone paying for a wedding. And I realize where you discontement is with not having it all your way.

You may have wanted to think it all over- do it yourself how you want it, and pay for it. Or try to make the best of the situation!

Try to keep in mind what is most important , your marriage (vows, lifetime spent together)- not the wedding( the show & party you put on)

Post # 4
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

you should really speak up! Something has to give! Maybe it will come down to an agreeance of you picking this and that and they taking a safe route with catering and such. you should totally have a say in the venue at least! Dont sell yourself short b/c you feel you could sound selfish, let them know that you love that they are helping to make you and your FIs wedding dreams happen! communication!  

Post # 5
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know that feeling, but for the opposite reason.  We lost our entire wedding savings due to a personal issue between his parents.  We had to spend it on our move that was short noticed.  Granted, we needed to be out of their house and on our own, but I did NOT want to use my hard earned money for the wedding to go towards it.  Anyways, his parents at one point promised to help pay for the wedding, but they show no interest nor have they said anything.  So, we are now eloping. =)

Post # 6
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Can you figure out a way to pay for your wedding on your own?  Sometimes it’s best to not use someone else’s money, no matter how generous it seems at the time. 

Post # 7
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m really sorry you’re going through this situation!

Maybe they’re just going with what’s familiar and safe (like Jessoverall said), and they just need some convincing from you guys about why your choices are better. The fact that your choices are less expensive can hopefully help with convincing them

I get frustrated when I hear things like this because I would be inclined to say, “We really appreciate you helping with paying for the wedding, but I don’t appreciate that you’re hanging this over our heads an not allowing it to feel like our day. Please trust that we can take care of this and understand how important this is for us.” 

If they insist on choosing things after you voice your concern and present your views, you may have to either accept that this is how it’ll be if they pay, or you may decide to decline their financial backing and do things with a smaller budget but with your own vision…

 

Post # 9
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I understand. I’m not paying for my wedding either…and even though I should be so greatful that I can even have a wedding of this magnitude…(church destination wedding followed by hometown reception)….I also get alot of people pushing and pulling when it comes to my choices. They want me to pick alot of the same vendors used for my sister’s quince…even though I didn’t much care for her photographer/videographer…or her flowers..but you can’t say that out loud to someone. 

Ur just having a bad day…the excitement will return, I promise. I have my days of wanting to just say the heck with it all…and just go get married in my hometown churche’s chapel with our best friends as whitnesses…and move on with out lives…and then other days I do feel excited to celebrate our marriage in a big way.

It’s a rollercoaster…for sure.

Post # 10
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m sorry babe.

I would talk to them if I were you and if that doesn’t work, I would try to pay for things by myself. My family doesn’t have money to help SO and I pay for our wedding, so a lot of it will come out of pocket. This means we will have to have a long engagement because I don’t want to sacrifice anything because we couldn’t afford it.

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