(Closed) Not excited to be married

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I keep asking my Fiance if it feels any different that we will be husband and wife in a few months and he responded the same way. We have lived together for about five years, together for six, so I totally get his response.

Post # 4
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel the same way. Things will not change that much except I’ll have legal rights and stuff. I am excited to say “my husband” instead of boyfriend or Fiance but that’s about it. As long as your not second guessing the person you’re marrying you’re okay.

Post # 5
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

This was actually one of the topics a couple spoke about in my pre-Cana.  They said for couples who co-habitate before marriage, oftentimes you come the realization that not much changes after the wedding.  Or that the woman often thinks things will change after the wedding but the man she lives with doesn’t feel the same way.  The couple that spoke about this topic actually urged the couples that live together to live separately for several weeks or months before the wedding.  They gave the example of the bride returning to her parents home for a few weeks.  Not sure how realistic that actually is, but I get the point.

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MapleMoose:  I see the point, but I would kill myself if I had to move back in with the rents’. Plus what 27 year old live with their parents?

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s natural for the excitement to die down after a while as it just becomes the normality. Was I excited to be my FIs girlfriend before we got engaged, not really apart from right at the start of dating.. was I happy and content? Yes!

As long as he still treats you right and you both love each other, then thats ok 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well…we lived together and I assumed it would all be the same and honestly the day to day is. We still wake up and go to bed at the same time, fight for the bathroom, argue over leaving clothes in the dryer and so forth but now that we’re married its weirdly different. Things just seem to MEAN more. I was a big, “things won’t change” person and I can honestly say I was wrong. Again day to day life didn’t change but feelings kind of did. Its not my fiance walking in, its my husband and its just so permanent in such a good way. Maybe I’m just in a newlywed bubble but its hugely different to me and I love it. I significantly underestimated the whole idea of being married.

Post # 11
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jamie42003: I am 27 and might be moving back in with my parents 🙁  lol.  I’m not thrilled but SO is moving across country for a job and I will probably be chilling chez les parents for a few months until I’m able to get out there.

Post # 14
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Papillon23—  You do not want to move in with them and it is temporary circumstance. This post was suggesting that someone should volunteer to move back home to make married life different. Good luck on your move, how exciting! 

 


Post # 15
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@redheadem:  I can’t really answer that because I have the benefit of hindsight. Like I said, I know before I was married I was like you, I wasn’t really excited but now I see how I was wrong.

It would be different if you were dreading or questioning getting married as in…”I hate the idea of marriage. Do I really want to do this? Do I want to be with him forever?” Please correct me if I’m wrong but it didn’t sound like that is the issue, you just don’t seem “excited” – I wouldn’t feel bad about that because you are entering something you’ve never experienced and you just don’t know yet what it will be like.

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