(Closed) Not excited to be married

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@redheadem:  I’m with you…marriage was never my “thing”.  I really didn’t care one way or the other if it happened.  Now that I am engaged and planning a wedding, I am really not that excited, about any of it.  I don’t know if I “get” marriage lol.  I just don’t see how it can change anything we already have, except the legal side of life.  Fiance and I live together, and have for some time.  I really don’t think I will feel any different post wedding.

It’s funny, I feel so alien to the girls/woman I meet in the planning process who are just giddy with excitement and gushing about everything.  I just don’t get it lol.  But then again, I am not like that with anything in my life, ever.  I am not good at expressing things and showing emotion.

Post # 18
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MrsPinkPeony:  totally agree with everything you said!!

 

@redheadem:  I went through so many emotions before we got married. From wanting to just forget about the whole thing because we were already living together and what did it matter, to let’s just elope cuz wedding planning is driving me nuts!!!, to nothing’s going to change so whats the point. But like june42011 said, something does shift for most, and you don’t even realize it til it happens. Plus, within 6 months I graduated from college and we bought a house, so we were definitely staying busy, so it took a while for it to fully kick in.

All that to say, its totally normal, and you should never feel bad for the emotions you feel

Post # 19
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Your feelings are totally valid and you have every right to feel them!

I personally can’t frigging WAIT until we’re married, and we talk about it often (we live together also).  For me, with marriage comes a lot of things I’ve been waiting for, so maybe that’s part of it.  We’ll get to have a wedding, an awesome honeymoon, hopefully a baby or two in the next few years, the relief that my parents will have lived to see me get married, a wedding band, a new last name….these are all things I’m looking forward to!  Plus, just BEING married, finally, and having him be my “husband”.  I’m excited, but don’t feel badly if you’re not!

ETA: Maybe it will hit you more after it happens?  Or maybe you just don’t need to be “excited” as long as you’re happy. 🙂

Post # 20
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

We have lived together for 4 years when we get married, honestly I am just excited to be a “family” rather than gf/bf. It is not going to change our day to day life but I think I will finally feel like a grown up women with a husband rather than a girl with a boyfriend. I dont know, it makes sense in my head lol.

Post # 21
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

I understand that things don’t change BUT I’m totally excited to live as husband and wife 🙂 I don’t expect anything to change in our relationship but it’s just something I’ve always dreamed of since I met this man! But I can totally understand not being “excited” per say,  because if you already live together…it’s just a big ass party to celebrate your relationship haha. 

Post # 23
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Having been married and divorced to man with whom I lived for 3 years before the wedding, I have to say that living together and everything that comes along with that was different in a big way from getting married. Marriage made me feel differently about the relationship and made me realize how “trapped” I really was. Now that I’m engaged again, I realize exactly how engagement should feel and what marriage means.

This is all coming from a woman who’s divorce took 4 years, though – take it with a grain of salt. 

Post # 24
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I feel the same now that we’re married. It’s just official now. I WAS suuuuuper excited when we moved in together, so I just think of it as all of my excitement arrived early. 🙂

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