(Closed) Not excited…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Jaylii, I’m sorry you’re not feeling so great about yourself. We all dream of being the most beautiful creature alive on our wedding day, and I’m sure you will be, you just have to believe it.

First of all, get past whatever ideal you’re comparing yourself with. NONE of us is the ideal that you see in magazines (nor are they). I promise you.

You just need to commit to being your absolute best. If you don’t like your weight, you still have time to work on that. If you don’t feel pretty enough, sometimes small things can make a big change and really lift the spirits (like a new hairstyle, teeth whitening or a visit to the makeup counter). Obviously your happiness and excitement aren’t all about appearances, but if this is what’s getting you down, be proactive and do something positive to boost your confidence.

Keep in mind: Your Fiance loves you as you are. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be something or someone else.

Post # 4
5 posts

Dear Jaylii,

I’m sure we all have these days when we don’t feel we look our best. I had a baby recently and went through a whole ordeal of feeling completely unattractive for almost a year! Million is right. Sometimes just going out and getting your nails done, or changing a haircut will lift your spirits. But more important, remember, that each girl has something special about her. And very often it is not the looks. Your fiancee loves you for the person you are! I’m sure you have a kind heart, and that’s what makes a person beautiful. Put your heart into this wedding and make it a point to look beautiful and CONFIDENT for you wedding day. Do all you can and don’t stress about the little stuff. I’m SURE you will look gorgeous on your wedding day if you keep smiling and having a good time!  🙂

Post # 5
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m a size 14 bride!!!  But I’m also almost 6 feet tall…so nothing ever really fits me correctly, especially because I live in Korea now.  I had a horrible time going for my first dress fitting (the seamstress told me I was enormous), and I struggle with being a ‘larger’ bride. 

However, Fiance loves me…and loves me for who I am and who I look like.  My family and friends love me for who I am and what I look like, and I know that that is what matters.  I too am trying to lose some weight…I know I won’t be a super skinny bride, but I do want to tone up a bit and just get in better shape overall.  

At the university where I am a prof, I have a lot of dance majors.  They have done so many assignments on how they have to lose weight/can’t eat/got in trouble from their dance teacher because they ate ice cream ONCE!!!  One girl always looks miserable.  She once told me that she barely eats because she is always being told she is too fat to be a dancer.  These girls are super skinny…but they’re not beautiful because they look unhappy.  The most beautiful brides are not the richest ones who have all the money in the world to outfit themselves in diamonds…and they are not the thinnest girls who spend their time obsessing with their diet and their shape.  The most beautiful brides are the joyful ones who love themselves and love their partner unconditionally.

hugs. 🙂

Post # 6
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I’m so sorry you feel this way! But there’s lots of things you can do to try and change this…Firstly, you have lots and lots of time until your wedding, which is great bc that means lots of time to get past these feelings…I think everyone feels like that sometimes. wen all have our own hangups and insecurities (mine is my skin, helllooooo backne and open-backed dress!) 

I think it’s great that you’re trying to lose weight but don’t let it be the focus of your wedding! You will be an incredibly beautiful bride, no matter your size…I’m sorry that you feel that wedding vendors haven’t been treating you with the respect you deserve, I completely understand you being upset by your photographer’s actions but honestly, if you’re happy with the e-pics and feel you look good in them, then that is what matters! Share some of them with us on WB and you’ll get way more comments than you would from your photog’s blog…

I hope your dress fitting goes well today and that we can help you figure out ways to recognize your beautiful self! xoxo

Post # 7
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Not sure I can add anything to what’s already been said but there’s a lot of truth in loving yourself first before others can see your beauty.  I’m a size 16 bride and only 5’4″, feel the same way when I see people post pictures up on Facebook of them with their friends but I’m not in them.

Grab your best friend, get pampered and then buy yourself something you would not normally get (for me it was a very expensive purse) and don’t let yourself for even one minute think you don’t deserve it.

Things are so different now than when our parents first met, I found that most men I met in my late 20s and early 30s were just focused on themselves and playing games.  We have found wonderful men that love us, want to be with us, and want to spend the rest of their lives with us.  How amazing is that??  I look at my single friends and hope that they will find that person as well, it’s such a wonderful feeling.

Post # 8
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way… I’m a size 12 bride (dress was size 14), and at bridal salons I kept hearing “oh don’t worry about your weight, you should be able to try some things on.” Um, did I say I was worried about my weight?

You’re ten months out, so if you *want* to make changes, you do have time… but if the wedding-industrial complex is just messing with your head, screw them! Your fiance wants to marry you, not some stereotypical “pretty bride.”

Post # 9
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh, I so feel your pain.  There is so much pressure on women to conform to specific body shapes in our society, and weddings only make it harder.  I am a size 18 bride and have been feeling uneasy about dress shopping as well.  As others have posted, your Fiance is marrying you because he loves you and thinks that you are beautiful.  That is a wonderful thing.  Despite being a “plus-sized” woman, you are a beautiful, unique person and you will be a beautiful bride.  My mom and dad love to make comments and judgements as well, and as much as they hurt, I think we all need to recognize them for what they are, their own anxieties and judgments that they have no right to put on us. 

One thing that has helped me in times of body insecurities is to exercise.  A brisk walk/run or 30 minutes of pilates remind me that my body is powerful and strong.  The endorphens help to boost my mood.  I highly suggest it when you are feeling uncomfortable with your body. 

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