Post # 1
I will be feeding absolutely 1 vendor. That would be the wedding planner who has worked with me for months on end while I live out of state. She will be there all day and will likely want to eat at some point. Not to mention she is completely under charging us for all the work she has done thus far. I know etiquette states I should let vendors eat. But quite frankly, when I show up to work I am expected to work and bring my lunch or get lunch from somewhere. My employer is not responsible for providing my lunch! Why should we have to provide a vendors meal when they could have brought a sack lunch. I have no problems with vendors breaking so they can eat, use the restroom, etc. I do have a problem paying a vendor 1300 bucks for something and then be expected to feed them a meal! I paid you to work and you can figure out your own lunch/dinner!
Am I being rude?
Post # 3
My venue provides 3 vendor meals at no charge, which is very nice. I expect that you should feed your DJs and photographer, I mean they’re going to be there for hours… and you don’t exactly want to piss off the people who can significantly change the awesomeness of your wedding. 😉
Post # 4
Yes you are absolutely right in your point but alas it’s a wedding and nothing makes sense moneywise. In the end you want your vendors to be happy so they will do a good job at your wedding. It’s not worth it to have them be rude if you can just provide a meal. My place provides vendor meals so it’s not as high price as what the rest of the guest are eating.
Post # 5
I think that this can depend on your personal situation and vary from bride to bride and vendor to vendor.
At my wedding we had a full coursed seated meal and so our vendors did not sit down and eat that with us but I did talk to the chef and have him make some trays with small finger sandwiches, fruit and hummus and crackers for the vendors. Is that an option for you?
I do not think you are being uptight because in most cases you don’t want your photog sitting down at a table next to your friends/family…haha….but like I said, it varies depending on the type of food, formalness of the reception/wedding/venue, and your personal choice.
I also think that many vendors (most!) would much rather a larger tip/gift after the fact then a meal.
Post # 6
I think it’s a courtesy to provide a meal. weddings aren’t like other jobs. It’s high stress, long hours and a lot of work for those vendors. Why not say thank you with a meal for them? Happy vendors will help your wedding go smoothly. You don’t want an angry DJ or photographer!
Post # 7
I think it is not only proper etiquette, but common courtesy as well to feed your vendors. Yes, you have hired them to help out on your wedding day, but they are people who are taking the time away from their family and their weekend to help you out. They have most likely put a lot of time and effort and preparation into your wedding day. Without the vendors, you wouldn’t have much of a day, and I think it is well worth the cost of a vendor plate (which is often a discounted price) to hire them.
Post # 8
I kind of see your point, but its kind of expected and etiquette that the vendors will eat. Most places will arrange for a sandwich platter or some alternate meal if you dont want to feed them the typical menu. My venue provided half priced meals for vendors, so they ate the same food as the guests. IMO its pretty rude to not feed them. They are working all day too, from setup to whenever they are done, taking weekend time away from their families.
Post # 9
Not only is it polite to feed your vendors, it also seems very unfair NOT to feed them. Would you rather have your photographer leave during the reception to run over to the corner deli and get a sandwich? Vendors meals from the venue are usually much reduced–ours are $35, and if we use venue recommended vendors, then they’re free. Think about how you would feel if asked to work an 8-10 hour event without eating!
Post # 10
we had a photographer (whom we’ve since let go and requested a new one) that flat out said, “are you going to feed me?” we answered, ‘well our venue has vendor meals, so we could just buy one of those for you.” to which he replied, “ugh, those are disgusting. i’ll just walk somewhere and get something to eat.” just one reason of many we’re requesting a new photog. haha. i never heard of feeding vendors before, but i imagine we’ll feed our coordinator and probably photog, but no one else. (maybe?? i have no idea what the etiquitte is)
Post # 11
It’s up to you, but I personally want to keep my vendors happy so they do the best job they possibly can. My photographer even has her requirement of a vendor meal written into her contract, so in her case the answer was obvious. Our venue provides vendor meals at a reduced cost (compared to their overly-priced guest meals), so I ordered them for all of our vendors who will be with us through dinner time — our photographer and 4 band members. Is this really a huge cost compared to everything else you you are shelling out for your wedding? Probably not.
Post # 12
I felt this exact same way when I first got engaged and started to realize how gosh darn expensive everything is with all the extra charges! It makes a totally normal person seem like a monster. I was so mad that I had to feed everyone when I never get fed at work and work longer hours than these people!
Of course I no longer feel this way. The main reason you have to provide the food is for convenience. Most weddings are in venues where there isn’t a foodcourt directly adjacent or they don’t know if they can put their lunchbag in a fridge anywhere near where they’ll be needing to eat. Their jobs are based around being flexible, and part of that is eating fast, not having to cart it around or prepare it.
Post # 13
We absolutely decided to feed our vendors. I am taking NO chances that a pissed off hungry photographer will ruin my photos! Plus do you really want your DJ to be eating out of a sack lunch in front of all your guests? My venue is charging only $20 per vendor meal as opposed to the guest cost of $60 so it isn’t outrageously expensive.
Post # 14
@ everyone ( i am lazy lol). I think my problem is that is just the principle. I could care less if they sat next to us. If I were all for feeding them I would certainly invite them to sit down in the room with us. I would feel awful making them sit in a room somewhere. Our venue does not have vendor meals. We are having a small wedding like 50 people so it really isn’t about the money either. It just irks me that this has become etiquette. I understand I don’t want to piss them off because I want them to do good work. Oh I feel a bridezilla moment. They are professionals and should act as such. Pack a lunch. But maybe I should just waiver on this one and fall victim to stupid etiquette. I don’t think I want to be the martyr on our wedding day. Maybe another day. LOL. But next time, next time…it is war! LOL
Post # 15
I really think you need to feed your vendors. As others have mentioned most venues have vendor meals that are much lower cost than you are paying per head for your guests. If you truly do intent not to feed them you absolutely must let them know ahead of time… it sounds like you are expecting them to show up with a sandwich in a bag which they will never think to do because it’s proper to feed them and that is what they will be accostomed to. Without fair warning they will come unprepared and be unable to eat for a very long stretch of time… and that’s not good for anyone.
Post # 16
We are totally feeding the vendors. The only one that we aren’t is our officiant, but only because she flat out told us that she does not attend receptions. It’s just ettiquette.