- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Nothing constructive here…just a need to b&%^h and moan.
Things haven’t been going great right now–especially with planning. In fact things have pretty much ground to a halt. I am generally kind of burnt out, with school, etc., so my motivational level hasn’t been that high to do ANYTHING, and this just includes wedding stuff.
While I only had settled on a few things so far, I seem to be going BACKWARDS not forward. I’m using a non-traditional venue and I got an email from my caterer 2 days ago saying that he hadn’t been able to get in touch with the fire marshal after weeks of trying (he needs to get approval for the layout), so he was giving up and couldn’t do the catering. The wedding coordinator for the venue (that we HAVE to pay like $60/hr) hasn’t helped problem-solve, so since I like his food, and he was willing to work within our small budget, I volunteered to try to get the approval for him, and keep trying to get in touch with him. How I’m supposed to have MORE luck from the other side of the country, I’m not really sure, and I REALLY didn’t need ANOTHER thing to do.
Added to this that my Fiance is completely unhelpful, and if he has anything to say about the wedding, It’s usually about how he can’t wait until it’s over, and how much he’s not looking forward to it. I know he wants to get married, but he hates being the center of attention or have people looking at him, so I get how it’s not the most fun thing for him to do, but still, c’mon. It’s like 25 minutes of your life. I know he didn’t complain like this to his Boyfriend or Best Friend when he was his groomsman, so why is he complaining like this to me!! And he does this even though I pointed out how that doesn’t make me feel happy when he says that, and i KNOW that he is going to say something like that the day-of and just RUIN the day–making me wonder if it’s even worth it to go through all this since I won’t end up having good memories of the day. To this point, I have tried to ask the LEAST possible from him since I know he isn’t excited about it. ALL that I have asked him to do was make a list of guests and decide if he wanted to have groomsmen. He actually told me that he wanted to do LESS. LESS!?!?!?!? What could possibly be less to do!??! We are having a convo tonight about this, but it’s just a headache that I don’t want to have to deal with, and it’s definitely bringing me down.
Now, I’m also gaining weight b/c I went off of medication that was making me not hungry–now I can’t control my cravings and I am totally pigging out. 🙁 EVEN WORSE, I am now LOSING MY HAIR. This could be caused by a few things, including the fact that I recently went off of birth control, was on a high does of ibuprofen, the list goes on for possible causes (although the dermotologist I went to was NEGATIVE helpful, if that is possible). Whatever has caused it, I have lost what seems like about 1/2 of my hair in the past 3 weeks. I have always had long-ish, very thick hair, and when I went to the dermo. the doctor said, “Well, you have a full head of hair, it’s just fine and thin.” NOT a comfort considering it was THICK less than a month ago. I have no idea if my hair loss has stopped (altho Dr. Unhelpful said it could be “temporary”- meaning lasting up to 6 months), but even if it did, at this point I feel like I would need to wear a WEAVE to my wedding. 🙁 I’ve never even worn a weave in my LIFE, so it would SUCK to have to do it for the first time on my wedding day so that I could have a half-way decent hairstyle. 🙁
Not loving life right now. I have a lot to do, and can’t motivate myself to do pretty much anything, and all these developments are not helping. 🙁