Not feeling the wedding dresses

posted 1 year ago in Dress
Post # 2
1877 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Oh yes, finding a modest gown is so hard! And it’s hard for consultants to get it sometimes too. I found several really cute dresses at a consignment store. It’s nice there since they have such a variety of designers you might not see at a regular store. I still didn’t find my dress though some were almost modest enough. 

I have some religious requirements, so finding a modest enough dress in a store that doesn’t need extensive modification has proven impossible.

Etsy has a lot of wonderful modest, but modern wedding dresses. There’s also a line called modeSt by Mon Cheri. And a site called 

I’m currently going the custom made Chinese route because I don’t have time to order from most of the designers. My wedding is May 4 and most range from 12-18 weeks to make the dress, plus alterations if the dress isn’t modest enough already 

Maybe your mom can help you find a style on Etsy? Also, I have 2 out of state sisters and we’ve been doing Marco Polo to show them the dress shopping. It’s been really helpful because I look back at the videos later, plus they can immediately respond to the message if available. If you do more shopping in stores, that may be a way to include your mom. I prefer it to Skype or FaceTime since it different require they be logged in at the same time and you can review it later.

Post # 3
2978 posts
Sugar bee

Though not lace, perhaps this one from Rosa Clará could be an option. I think the brocade is exquisite!

Post # 4
8 posts
  • Wedding: March 2018

Something cool about David’s Bridal is they also sell wedding dress toppers. They’re like special shirts to wear either over or under a wedding dress. My sister did that. She bought a strapless mermaid style dress (it was like $300) and bought a lace 3/4 sleeve topper that she wore OVER the dress. She finished it off with a bridal sash and it look like that dress was made that way. 

There are long-sleeved styles at David’s, just make sure you give the stylist the style number so they can find them (I mean, they can’t know all the inventory all the time). I did this and tried on this dress: it was gorgeous!

I wanted a conservative dress. I felt pushed to make a decision and decided on a dress that I later HATED. I contacted David’s 7 months after I bought the dress and they actually let me exchange the dress for one I LOVED (of course, my old dress had to pass all their tests). I’d say, do not settle, especially if the wedding dress is a big deal to you. It’s worth it to wait.

Post # 5
39 posts
  • Wedding: August 2018

I don’t think your poblem is you can’t find a store. I don’t think you have a dream gown, and that’s why the process is being so hard. I did not fantasy myself in a gown until one day I sit beside my Fiance and starts to imagine myself in a sweat heart gown with a mermaid train. Also, you need to know what kind of dress fit your body type. Lace sleeves and conservative style is very easy to find until you know exactly what you want. But I would suggest to piece want you want step by step. For example, look at this dress and think what you don’t like, then for the next one, eventually you’ll know what are you looking for.

Post # 7
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

claroquesi :  

Oh that is beautiful,   so  Grace Kelly-esque  !

Post # 8
1823 posts
Buzzing bee

You can add a bolero or topper to any strapless dress to make it conservative- a topper is like a lace crop top, long or short sleeves, I think it’s a fantastic invention

Post # 9
83 posts
Worker bee

I had a very similar experience. I went to about 10 boutiques before I finally found a dress. I also wanted something modest with lace sleeves but they are so hard to find! Yes, you can do a google search and they seem to be everywhere but once you’re in the store there may be one or two sleeved options to try. I also wanted a ball gown but all the long sleeved dresses were form fitted. Pretty much every consultant tried to talk me out of what I wanted. Very annoying! 

I ended up purchasing a Casablanca gown and they are adding sleeves to it. If you find a Casablanca gown you like, they can make custom changes to it. 

Adding a bolero, like previous posters said may be an option too  

Good luck! 

Post # 10
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

strawberrybee26 :  Like you, I knew that my time to shop with family members would be limited due to schedules and ppl living out of state. I did a lot of prep before hand to make it work. I researched designers that made dresses that fell into the price point and aesthetic that I was looking for. Then I researched salons that carried these designers. I went to my first bridal appointment alone so I could get an idea of what was out there and how I looked/felt in the dresses without any distractions. My second appointment was the one that we did as a group and I was able to choose a dress that day that was perfect. 

I would start by digging on the the Internet for a designer that makes the type of modest dresses that you like and go from there.


Good luck!!

Post # 11
80 posts
Worker bee

If you want sleeves you’ll have better luck buying sleeveless and adding sleeves. 


Post # 12
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Take all the time you need!  This is exactly why I did some pre-shopping before my mom comes.  I knew, like you, that I wouldn’t be able to commit after a single day out.  I went to 5 different shops and just went back to the first.  I can relate because what I want is not the most on-trend either so every time I go into a boutique only a small handful of dresses fit what I’m looking for.  My advice is to do your research beforehand.  Try to find designers who create the style you’re looking for and seek out boutiques specifically that carry those designers.  Every boutique I’ve gone to it’s because they have a specific designer who makes the aesthetic I’m looking for.  You could also call ahead and describe what you’re looking for to make sure they have dresses to try on that meet your criteria.

And be patient with yourself that it would happen.  Because I don’t like the on-trend styles and I haven’t been feeling the greatest about my body I was worried I’d never find anything.  Now I’m pretty much debating between two dresses I love.

Post # 13
604 posts
Busy bee

strawberrybee26 :  I totally get you bee! For me, I had gained a lot of stress weight and was not wanting to go dress shopping like that. But…  I was running out of time and encouraged to go try on so that I could at least get an idea of what shapes I like. I hated the entire appointment. My mom took a bunch of pictures to help me remember what I liked about this dress of that and I couldn’t believe how pained my face looked in all of them. It wasn’t the experience I hoped, but it did give me some clarity about the dress style dress I was looking for.

I searched online, and came across Feya Bridal. They are based out of the Ukraine. I found their dress styles beautfiul and to have more modest options then the US stores. They have been wonderful to work with (contact through WhatSapp). They have been very willing to make any change to the dress I would like (for me, raising the neckline a bit and making sure my shoulders were covered). They were basically willing to do anything I wanted to it. It’s a ballgown and the final cost was $1,500 and comes with the petticoat. They are also making a veil to match. I highly recomend you check them out!

Post # 14
604 posts
Busy bee

Post # 15
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

strawberrybee26 :  I had the exact same problem as you bee! After 6 boutiques I could not find any sleeved dresses that I liked, and they were all too expensive for what they were in my opinon. I ended up ordering from Etsy and couldn’t be happier. 

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