Not getting along with DH bff

posted 3 months ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

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mrsssb :  Imo it’s fine to have one night a week with a friend where your not home to your spouse by 7, I mean what is he a 13 year old who needs to get up for school the next morning? Why must she spend every single evening with him? To each their own but imo one night a week with friends is healthy.

Post # 17
Member
1502 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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Brideordie :  sure it is. But every Friday would bug me. What if I want to spend Friday night with my husband? Like I said earlier. They could golf for a few hours on a Saturday, or quick lunch on Sunday afternoon etc. but every Friday night with this specific friend is overkill. Especially since they spend every day together at work already. And why not see his other friends? For someone who is a jackass to his wife this guy is dedicating way too much time to this one friend. 

Post # 18
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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kstir2015 :  

Anger and demands are fodder for your husband to use against you.  In his head, it validates his need to go play with his friends.  The pissier you get, the more he will rebel.

If it’s one night a week with the guys, I am at a complete loss as to what the problem is.

You don’t like his BFF.  So what?  You don’t have to.  If BFF is being disrespectful, that’s not a BFF problem.  That’s a husband problem.  He needs to shut that shit down, muy pronto.

You have one option here–learn to gleefully fill the time with friends and interests of your own.

 

Post # 19
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

I’m surprised at many of the responses here. First of all, my husband wouldn’t have a friend that was disrespectful to me. Because it would bother *him*. Why doesn’t your husband care that his best friend is being rude to his wife? You should come first. 

In my opinion, best friend is not allowing dogs or kids and being rude to you so you’ll make yourself scarce and only your husband will come hang out with him like he clearly wants. It’s fine for them to hang out alone and they should, but the way that it’s being done is shitty and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. 

 

I would tell your DH that he is free to hang out with his friend once a week but that friend needs to start being respectful to you when you do see him or that friendship will need to end. You should also get one evening a week in exchange to do as you please. 

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