(Closed) Not getting any? TMI

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Not even any Bjs… nothing?

Post # 4
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you’ve been together a year and 8 months, this is definitely something you need to TALK about with him.

Post # 6
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Were you having sex before you got engaged, and if not, had you discussed your sexual histories/attitudes about it? Did he give you the impression he wanted to wait for marriage or is this a recent development?

Sex is a really important part of a romantic relationship and a marriage so you guys need to talk about what is happening or not happening in the bedroom.

Pour him a glass of wine so he can relax a little bit and then gently bring up that you’re “in the mood” and would like some reciprocation.

 

Post # 7
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@amber.woulfe: So before you got engaged, or even before you started living together, the topic of intimacy never came up?! I think that was your first mistake, you need to be upfront and open about everything in a relationship. You need to sit down and talk with him ASAP! It amkes me wonder how many other things are going to come up as a “suprise” later.

Post # 8
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am really confused how have you been together for over a year and not discussed your sexual relationship?

Have you ever talked about it? Were you planning on “waiting” until you were engaged?

Post # 9
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Thats definately something that needs to be discussed. Sexual compatibility to important to a marriage. Definately bring it up.

Post # 11
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I know this is a show, but it can provide a glimpse of your future.

Have you ever watched Sex and the City where Charlotte marries a guy she never questioned about his sexual experiences? Turns out he couldnt do it at all… and that is your business 6 months ago or now.

Bring it up delicately. Ask him if its morals or physical problems and go from there.

Never expect anything to change without talking about it or working on it when it comes to other people. It will only cause problems. Whether we are talking about sex or doing the dishes.

Remember you two will be married so you need to communicate about everything openly!

Post # 12
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow you need to have a conversation about this immediately. Why later this week? I would talk to him about it tonight. This is the man you want to marry and you arent comfortable discussing your lack of a sexual relationship? I wouldnt commit to marrying someone unless we had talked about this. Sex is a huge factor in a relationship and if you arent on the same page it could be disastrous down the road. Have you ever tried to make a move on him?

Post # 13
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree it’s time for some communication the subject. I know it will be difficult at first, but it’s something that needs to be talked about.

Post # 14
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

You guys need to talk and soon.  Like – tonight even.  Honestly, I would never accept a proposal from someone without having discussed things like this.

You guys are engaged to be married and should therefore be able to talk to each other about anything.  Please don’t put off this very needed discussion any longer!

Post # 16
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

FIRST let me say:  YOU ARE ENOUGH!  Please don’t think you aren’t good enough because he isn’t initiating things.  

Ditto the other’s advice.  You definitely need to talk about it and find out what’s going on.  Figuring out this now is the BEST THING YOU CAN DO.  Don’t beat yourself up that you’ve waited until now.  PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK that you are talking to him before you say “I DO”.  

We are here for you!  You can do it!

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