Post # 1
My husband and I have recently started ttc. I came off the pill 3 months ago and I know it takes a while to regulate your cycle. That said, coming off the pill my cycle was exactly 28 days for the 1st two cycles, so of course when this one was late I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe…just maybe. Of course AF showed her ugly face, and I’m obviously not. I also only have one functional ovary, so our chances are already diminished. I know it hasn’t been that long, and I thought I had already accepted that it was probably going to take a while if it’s even possible for me to get pregnant, but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. He was so happy when he found out my period hadn’t started and I had to tell him I was pretty sure it was just because I’d been sick that it wasn’t there yet. I’m also so very tired of people asking when we’re having kids or telling us to get a move on it, it’s like, we want them, we’re trying, but I’m broken so it’s not an easy task. I did order some ovulation tests to keep on hand and have an app to help track my cycle better. How do you ladies cope with all the annoying questions and just in general?
Post # 2
I always said “Lord willing……” I don’t know if you’re religious or not, but for me it kept people from asking even more nosey questions.
Post # 3
Squirrelz15: I think it is rough every month. It never seems to get easier to see AF. I would give you suggestions for trying to keep your mind off of it, but in the beginning they dont work!! FXd your wait is short!
Post # 4
I usually just say, when the time is right it will be our turn. That way people know that I don’t have a definite answer for them even though my husband and I have been trying for a few months. It is exciting at first and you always hope you’re one of the lucky few that gets pregnant immediately but the truth is, that’s super rare. I do still get kind of disappointed but the first few months my husband and I weren’t doing all that we could to get pregnant we just stopped using protection. Sure I knew where I was at in regards to when my period would arrive but we didn’t time well. This month will be the first that I can say we timed better and hopefully in the next couple of months it will be our turn. I also haven’t told anyone that we’re TTC so nobody asks how it’s going. Personal preference because I don’t want people all up in our business.
Post # 5
Squirrelz15: Fortunately we haven’t had too many questions. We’ve been trying on and off for a period of two and a half years and it is a struggle each month but there is no choice but to go with it. Hope your wait is short.
Post # 6
I just usually tell people “not yet” or “when we can afford to raise one” and then try to change the subject. I don’t want to tell anyone we are ttc so I just try to avoid giving a specific answer. It hurts my heart a little every time someone asks but it is what it is. Hopefully my turn will come soon.
Post # 7
Cote1590: I had started another thread because someone that’s mutual friends with people I know posted a picture on Instagram with a caption that said, I’m not saying we are trying to have kids, but I’m not saying we aren’t trying to have kids. Of course a million people responded excitedly but I thought it was a terrible decision because now you have a bunch of people waiting waiting waiting and will be asking you regularly, “Hey, how’s having a baby going?” Why anybody would want to do that to themselves, I don’t know, because like you, my heart hurts a little bit more everytime someone asks and I know Darling Husband and I have been trying already.
Post # 8
It’s so hard 😔 We’re up to cycle 3 (not long I know) and I don’t feel confident it’s happened this month either. People keep asking when we’re going to start a family or am I pregnant and it hurts. It’s not like we aren’t trying! My best friends mum considers herself psychic and she told me on Christmas Day she thinks I’ll be pregnant in the next few months, when we got home from visiting them I couldn’t help but cry because in my head I was thinking, I want to be pregnant now 😭 I feel silly typing that because I know it can take up to 12 months for a healthy couple but it doesn’t stop the longing.
Post # 9
mrscross1020: I remember reading your thread, I can’t believe someone would say that on social media! I have friends that know I have baby fever in general, but they don’t know we’re trying. I would just rather not tell anyone.
mrsfrendo11: I am feeling the exact same way. We’re on cycle #4 so it hasn’t been that long, but it’s hard to be patient when all I want is a sweet baby to love!
Post # 10
Squirrelz15: I’m going to be honest – even after over a year of TTC without success, it’s still nearly impossible for me to not to get my hopes up every month. I have anovulatory PCOS and I just learned this month that both my tubes are likely blocked and that I have some as-yet undiagnosed problem with my uterus that may mean I’m never able to conceive or carry a child. And yet, every month I hope for the miracle.
Please, please, please don’t call yourself broken. Sure, you face a unique set of challenges given your medical history. But you are NOT broken!
As for dealing with the questions, I don’t know if you’re open to doing this, but when people ask me I tell them honestly what we’re dealing with (in as much or little detail as the relationship can handle). In general, I’ve found that when people know there are medical issues or other struggles that you’re dealing with in getting pregnant, they tend to stop asking since they know it can be painful for you to discuss.
I hope your wait is short and your struggles few!
Post # 11
Thank you ladies for all your responses. We haven’t been trying for that long either. He seems to be telling everyone and I’m telling no one, and it hurts a little more every time someone asked. It helps to know I’m not alone even though we haven’t been on this journey that long.
AgileK9s: Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to know that others have medical issues to that causes struggles too. I hope you get your miracle!