(Closed) Not going out with friends when husband is around?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

When my guy was living in the same city as me, we spent tons of time together…but he never had a problem with me hanging out with my girl or guy friends when I wanted. I never had a problem with him having a night with the guys. We both just had a quiet understanding. No jealousy, no suspicious questions or stares. Trusting your partner definitely helps.

He is more of a homebody than I am, and would get lonely sometimes when I was out all day with my friends (we didn’t live together, though), so I would make sure to stop buy with some food or a movie so we could spend some time together at the end of the day.

I think it’s unreasonable that he’d get “pissed” because she hangs out with people when he’s not busy. Very controlling, if you ask me.

Post # 18
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s wierd and not a good way to maintain friendships which take just as much effort as relationships. My friend used to do that to me all the time! If he was home she couldn’t hang out but if he was being entertained it was ok. I was like wow, ok well just becuase you plan your time around him doesn’t mean that I have to.

Post # 19
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I found this comical to appear. I think it’s important to spend time with friends away fro your SO.  There shouldn’t be anything wrong with leaving the other at home, alone time is a good thing.

So, I mentioned to Fiance that I wanted to take a weekend trip to visit an old friend in the near future.  He later asks if I would go the weekend of June 11 because he wanted to go to AC with some friends.  I told him, I still have to talk to her and see what would be good for her. When I get home last night, he tells me that I really should go that weekend, so they can hang out here the night before.  Geez, I’m happy he’s getting together with these guys, but it’s like he’s trying to kick me out…  

Post # 20
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

The part that strikes me as odd is the fact that he’ll get angry at her if she makes plans while he’s home…or that he’ll go with you guys if he is home. I mean…I try not to make plans when I know my husband will be home on his own, but he certainly doesn’t mind when I do, and I’m the same way if he makes plans when I’m at home. It’s no secret that we enjoy spending time together…but I won’t skip out on plans just b/c he’s at home.

Post # 21
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m kind of similar to some other posters in that I plan girls nights when Fiance is working or has something else to do.  I feel bad when I go out and he’s sitting at home alone.  Now, he doesn’t demand I don’t go out or that I can’t, I just feel bad myself.

Post # 22
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

One of my friends’ husband is like this. It totally weirded me out. It was like he was controlling her, and we never saw her… so it was a little scary at first. Until we finally realized he wasn’t a bad guy, just being ridiculous.

I go out if my Fiance has something to do or not. But we typically do things together. So it hasn’t been a problem yet.

Post # 23
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it is totally weird.  If you are in a relationship where you are not “allowed” to go out with friends unless your partner is also going out, then it is weird.  I know during the week, DH and I only get to see each other for a few hours a night so when he is going out, I’d rather him do it when I am not home then when I am.  But, if he wants to go out when I am home, I really don’t care.  I’d just rather spend what little time we have together. 

Post # 24
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Fiance and I both make an effort to make plans when the other is working or has plans etc. But if it ever didnt work out like that we would never be mad!! Thats just weird. I mean yes we like to spend time together and all.. But common now thats not needed.

Post # 25
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it would depend on how busy we were. If there were only a few nights a week that we could spend together, I’d be upset if they ditched, but if we were home every night I don’t see why it would be a problem!

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