(Closed) Not going to a family wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Thier wedding is on a friday?? I can understand that you have school and that is extremely important! If your fiance is going then great! But you should have to worry about not being able to attend since you do have school. I would just explain to the bride (if you are close, if not dont feel bad just say no) exactly what is going on.

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I would talk to your teachers and let them know. If they know ahead of time then they might not penalize you.

Post # 6
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

School comes first. Period.

Post # 7
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it might be taken personally since it is a close family member. If it were a cousin you had never met that would be one thing. In My Humble Opinion I think that for his sake and to save face with the family that you should go with your Fiance.

Post # 7
Member
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

With the wedding being on a friday I’m sure they understand that some people simply can’t make it.  Are there weekend celebrations that you could join in on?

Send a gift & a nice card, I’m sure they will understand!

Post # 8
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If the wedding is on a Friday why would you have to skip 2-3 classes? You can leave Thursday after classes.

Like @Bostongrl25: said if you let your professors know ahead of time they might give you the work beforehand. So that it would be like you were at class. Or ask if you can do a bonus paper or something ot make up the absence.

It sounds like to me, bottom line, you do NOT want to be there. If you did you would find a way to make it happen.

For me, family comes before everything. I’ll figure out some way to be there. And yes I have had to miss classes during college for family weddings. But then again I love both sides of my family.

My family lives 8hrs away and we’ve driven down Friday to attend a Sunday evening to arrive back home. Shower and go immediately to work. If you want to make it happen you will. If you don’t you won’t. I would never dream of missing my BIL’s wedding but then we are all very close.

Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with @Bostongrl25: try and talk to your teachers in advance. Are you still in High School?? If so, try and talk with your guidance counselor and maybe you can get your work in advance.

If it’s not that big of a deal — then don’t go. YOu don’t owe anyone an explanation. Except obviously making sure your Fiance is aware why you won’t be attending.

Post # 9
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally.. if you arent sure if you are invited to the weekend long bash party they they didnt really do a good job of specifing what they want you to do. If nothing else you could maybe drive down after school? Or early Sat? However, that is an awful long drive. Good luck with it!

Post # 10
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I would decline, your schooling, grades, and scholarships are much more important.

Post # 11
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe I’m reading into this too much but it sounds like you don’t want to go and school is a good excuse to skip the wedding. School is absolutely the most important thing, esp maintaining your scholarships, but professors are human beings too and if you tell them ahead of time they’ll prob let you makeup whatever you miss without penalizing you. If they refuse to work with you I would decline the invitation, people understand not everyone will be able to make it when they decide to get married on a Friday.

Post # 13
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely talk to your professors.  They might surprise you and be understanding.  If they are not, politely decline and send a nice gift and card.  

Post # 14
Member
2406 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d check with your professors first. If they are accomodating then go. Otherwise just say you really wish you could make it but you can’t miss class. 

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