(Closed) Not going ‘Ultra’ Specific on your wedding details???

posted 7 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You definitely don’t have to have a cookie cutter perfect pretty wedding.  Do what’s right for you!  We’re not even decorating.  It’s not that I couldn’t afford it – I just don’t care about decorations.  I would rather spend that money on nicer wine.  I mail merged the STD labels and will probably do the same with the invitations.

Pick and choose what works for you, your partner, and your budget.  There are details I am worried about but anything that doesn’t interest me or my fiance is getting skipped.  We’re probably going to end up having some ridiculous combination of high end venue and photographer, a guy in the corner playing ukelele, my fiance’s ex-girlfriend running the ipod, and nobody quite sure what to wear. (and that’s not actually made up or sarcasm.  because we are just ridiculous human beings.)

I say take pride in what you want to care about and also take pride in what you don’t!  That’s what makes your wedding yours, which is so much more important than making it TV-perfect.

Post # 4
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re on a budget and we’re paying for everything ourselves.  I am very detailed oriented though and want everything to be perfect … and for me, that means DIY invites, programs, centerpieces, decorations, etc.  I still want them to be perfect, but I’ll be doing them for a fraction of the price, MY way.

Fiance is more concerned about what everyone else thinks, having this grand presentation … I just want to have fun and marry the man of my dreams…pretty simple.

He’s slowly coming around.  We’re doing different bridesmaids dresses and different color schemes (navy blue dress with brown suits or tuxes)…and it’s MY DAY and I’ll love it so phooeny on anyone else.  They will all be fed, provided drinks and entertained.

I really think it’s what you make of it.  Sure, if I could have a $40,000 or even $20,000 wedding, I would LOVE IT … but I can’t (but my wedding is going to be special and perfect for ME).

Post # 6
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was, at first, wrapped up in details and specifics… but as time went on and our budget reality hit me, I’m really not that concerned. 

I bought DIY printable invites at Walmart because they were on clearance for a dollar a box. They are silver pocket folds, simple.   Not my “ideal” invites but whatever!  I personalized them with some clip art and ribbon.  I originally wanted cherry blossom pink and white and black, but I will deal for that kind of savings.

Same with decorations; I really don’t care.  We are having our reception in a restaurant’s private party room.  It’s a stylish place, so I don’t feel the need to add much.  I might bring some Mexican paper flowers, might not… we’re marrying in another state so whatever I need has to go with us on the train.

In some ways I’m detail focused on stuff I’m doing myself, like our ring pillow and my DIY veil but for the most part, as long as we have people there that we love and who support us, and good food after, it’s all good!

 

Post # 8
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I feel you.  My wedding is awhile away and Im already over it.  I will never have some of these extravagant weddings I see; while I am doing a fair amount of DIY; if it doesn’t happen it just doesn’t.  Last week I was on the verge of tears about our venue, and how it’s not fancy enough, and how it’ll look, etc etc.  Like literally my stomach was in knots! I mean when did it get that serious?  Im going to worry myself sick over a ROOM?  Im insane.

The Blogger Bee Octopus really puts a lot of things into perspective for me.  I think she really accepted that while her wedding wasn’t going to be this uber-fancy DIY, huge centerpiece, extravaganza, the opportunity she had to celebrate with her people and her husband is really the greatest gift (she as no small budget either and she spent money on the things that were most important to her: her people).  

Dont get me wrong, if I had 60k, you better believe I would live it up.  But with our 33k (which is no small number either but damnit if we dont live in an expensive city), we are really blessed.

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Nope, there is nothing wrong with you! I have been going through similar emotions and doubts too and have found that a dose of perspective helps me.

My invitations didn’t really match my overall colour scheme, but they were pretty and my Fiance and I actually agreed on them, so we went with them. We’ve got lots of compliments, so great! We probably won’t bother with a rehersal dinner. I’m already tired of planning stuff and we are focusing on having a nice dinner at the reception. We won’t be having a wedding cake because dessert is already included in our buffet price. A fancy cake wasn’t important to me, so we’re not doing it. I hand delivered half my invitations, and asked for responses by phone or email. For the ceremony, we will use fake flower arrangements and pew bows that they have already. Great. We are making fruit centrepieces in ikea bowls that will double as favours, guests can take the fruit home. I’m not particularly in love with the payless shoes I bought but the price was right and I was sick of searching for shoes.

Here is what I try to focus on instead: Will our guests feel well treated by what we chose to do? This is important to us. These people are those that are dearest toour hearts. But will they even notice if the ribbon is a shade off from the bridesmaid’s dresses? Unlikely. Do I remember what anyone else’s flowers looked like? Not at all, actually. Do I remember if anyone else’s cake tasted good? No, not really. I acknowledge that the trimmings of my wedding will not make it the most beautiful wedding that our guests have even been to. If it happens to be the beautiful wedding our guests have even seen it will be because our guests are those that truly love and care for us. We will have one day of wedding and the rest of our lives in marriage.

Reading too many wedding books and magazines stressed me out, so I stopped until I could gain perspective. So I fully validate you. Pick what is meaningful to you and do it. Don’t let little details that no one will notice overshadow the bigger picture.

Post # 11
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@kayakblondie:  Awwesome attitude!  And I hear you about being sick of searching for shoes (yet still I search!!).  I seem to be most wrapped up in details concerning attire and food.  Not surprising considering my 2 favorite things to do in non-wedding life (shop for clothes and eat! lol!)

I am going with supermarket flowers.  No idea what.  Whatever is cheap and pretty a day or two before the wedding, that’s what!!  I will DIY my bouquet and the flowers for the guys.  I was going to do do an aisle runner in the church, have now decided not to do that either, don’t need one more thing to carry to Iowa!

I don’t remember much of these things from weddings I’ve been in or been to in the past, either.  Except colors and dresses (again with me and the clothes!).  In one instance because the bride had a stunning 20’s style silk dress and her bridesmaids wore black velvet (December wedding) and another because it was soooo 80’s (well, the wedding was in 1990 I think) and the bride had me (MOH) and the others wear acid washed stretch denim dresses with pink pumps. Gag.  LOL.  But for the time period, well what can you say.  Oh and my BFFs wedding also involved hideous mauve satin puff sleeved dresses for the attendants.  Hard to forget those.

 

Post # 12
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

One of the best compliments we got on our wedding was by the manager of our venue (who is also a personal friend).  She said, “If you were just asking your friends to come and sit on a blanket with no food or drink, just to celebrate your marriage, they’d be there and be happy to do it.”  Needless to say, we did more than that.  However, our attitude was basically that what was important was a) inviting people who genuinely cared about our happiness, and b) getting to spend time with those people.  We skipped all sorts of traditions, from engagement rings to a honeymoon.  But our wedding was perfect, as far as we were concerned, because we got married, and were able to celebrate that with people we cared about.

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t feel like you need to live up to anything. This is YOUR wedding, do it YOUR way. That being said, you may want to ease up on people who are choosing to spend a lot of time and money on their wedding, different things are important to different people.

Post # 14
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I focused on the details that I wanted to focus on, pined briefly over some things that I would have liked but couldn’t afford, and did lots and lots of DIY.  I loved how my wedding turned out!  I wouldn’t trade it for the world!  🙂

Post # 15
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

were on a budget because we have to pay for it ourselves and we dont have the money to focus on the details but theres certain details I want to focus on “traditional” things I grew up seeing I guess. Like a bouquet (I cant afford many flowers so were ordering offline and making our own bouquets) That’s gonna take some work and some time but I’m not focusing too much effort on much else it’s all pretty much falling into place without me fussing over every detail. =)

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