(Closed) Not graduating…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
12241 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@anonbee192:  He was completely supportive of my need for therapy and of my lengthened education timeline. He’s really been my cheerleader through everything! He always says that I’ll graduate when I graduate, and it doesn’t matter if I do it tomorrow or when our kids are 18!

But he’s only supportive because he knows how hard I worked to fix myself and how hard I’m working to finish my education! I definitely don’t complain for the sake of complaining.

 

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@MrsPanda99:  Yeah, sacrificing my education for my abusive ex boyfriend, and then winding up a full year behind after leaving him is one of those things I’m pretty quiet about. It feels like adding insult to the injury, you know! Like “Oh, you got beaten up for a year. But wait! There’s more! Now you’ve lost your full scholarship and are going to drop-out mid-semester and have to transfer your credits to an online college and change your major because of your bad choices 2 years ago! Congrats! You ARE the biggest loser!”

Post # 18
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Having to take an extra semester to graduate isn’t uncommon or a huge problem. Yes, it sounds like he screwed up by slacking off when he couldn’t really afford to. So he needs to own up to that and fix it. But it is fixable. And getting all bent out of shape isn’t going to help anything. It sounds like his ability to deal with hard situations has been a constant issue in your relationship. It sounds like he beats himself up but doesn’t actually follow through with the changes in himself that would be needed not to wind up in these situations. And that is a lifestyle choice. I don’t think it’s wrong to be the type of person who needs to take an extra semester. Hell, I took an extra 2 years to graduate from my masters program! But you have to be okay with yourself. I’m glad that you’re going to talk to him about therapy. Because he needs to have the ability to weather bumps in the road. Because isn’t a big bump. And you need to know that he’ll be able to handle a big bump, if one were to come along. Therapy might be able to get him some self-confidence and to be more comfortable with who he is or make real change to be who he wants to be. But kicking yourself does no good ot anyone and is just going to stress you out.

Post # 20
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@anonbee192:  Shoot, I’ve been in college since Fall 2009 and I’m still going! I have about a year and a half or so before I graduate. Try to get him to look at things in the long run — he’s got one class left. It is very common to take more than 8 semesters to graduate. People change their minds, fail a class, drop out and go back in… he’s not a loser or anything like that. Hell, at least he’s even in college and getting a degree. 1 credit is NO BIG DEAL. He’s got this!

Post # 21
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

8 semester limit, your school sounds stupid as hell.

Post # 22
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@anonbee192:  Honestly, I’d ask him! Say that you understand it’s a rough situation and he’s having a rough time. You want to be supportive. So you can think up good insults for the school for awhile. But at some point you’re both going to have to deal with the reality of the situation and what lead to it and what needs to happen to rectify it, and is he ready to do that or is he still in the insulting the school mood.

Post # 23
Member
12241 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@anonbee192:  After we got engaged, I completely blew off my course work for 6 months (Yeah… Online college is great/terrible like that). Eventually DH started giving me reminders on Sunday afternoons like “Hey, you still working on that math class? It’s been 6 months” or “Hey, you have some free time, right? I haven’t seen you open that text book in a while” or “That baby is going to beat your degree here. You might want to put down WeddingBee.”

So I’d give him a free pass on the reality check until he starts messing up again!

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