- 4 years ago
I need advice on a life crisis I am going through …
So I live in a city that I am not crazy about. I moved here for graduate school and after I graduated I wasn’t able to find a job right away outside of here, so I ended up staying and getting a job at a big fortune 500 company and worked there for just under 2.5 years. This job made me downright miserable. The pay was great and I was able to get rid of a lot of my student loans and I did meet some really nice people there, so that was good at least, but I was bored out of my mind, unchallenged and the whole thing made me really angry. My intent all along was to move out of here after my two-ish years at this job was done (I had a signing bonus that I would have had to pay back if I left before that). I knew exactly what kind of job I was looking for and so I started looking in the main city that I wanted to move to for jobs, but nothing was happening and I really needed to get out of the job that I had.
I ended up finding a different job where I live now at a really great company and I really like my job (it is stressful, but I feel good about it) and feel like I am learning and growing in a really positive way. The problem …. I still do not really love where I live and feel like I am in this horrible place because of it. I have this constant feeling of not being content and always feeling like there is always something to figure out.
To add to all of this, my mom has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease in the last year and while she is responding well to treatment and getting better, there are still worries about the seriousness of it and so I definitely have anxiety aobut htis.
Also, where I live now I have had a lot of trouble making friends and building a healthy, social life, which has been a major factor in my unhappiness. My friends that I made in graduate school are all married and having babies now. The friends that I made at my old job (where I was miserable) are great people, but they are working on leaving to go to different jobs/cities and one of my good friends just told me the other day that she is moving in a month :(. Also, my one best friend that I grew up with used to live here but she just moved to Germany with her husband. I feel like I am going to be left here all by myself. I have tried to put myself out there, but I am somewhat introverted and have trouble just randomly putting myself out there.
I have these fears that if I do move to the city that I really like, that my commute will be longer, cost of living higher and there are not guarantees of liking my job. I could get a similar job and my current job would definitely help me get there, but I feel like I am running out of time to keep making “mistakes”. I worry that I will end up in the same situation that I am in now. The positive of moving to this other place is that it is a major US city (versus the city I am in now is a mid-size Midwest city) and I will only be an hour and a half from my family instead of 6+ hours now.
I am an attractive, fun person that just wants to enjoy life and have good relationships. Why is this so hard for me?!?!? I have this major anxiety that I am now 31 (starting to feel like I am too old to figure this out), single and feel completely out of sorts. I like my job now, but feel like this is not the place where I want to stay long-term and worry that the longer I wait the more likely I will get stuck here (I really want to meet a great guy and get married, but I am afraid that I could end up being stuck here) and always being alone. I just feel so sad.
Thank you so much for your comments and support through cyberspace. I appreciate it!! 🙂