(Closed) Not having a shower….

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This is our first baby aswell and we don’t imagine we will be having any baby shower…the in-laws insisted we make a baby registry anyway, and reluctantly I did and nobody got a single thing. We will be buying everything we need in the next month or so. I personally wouldnt wait to long, get the rest you can in your final weeks before baby gets here. 🙂

Post # 18
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm, when did you make the registry? I know even when people do have showers, a lot of people wait until the last minute to buy a gift, so without that deadline, maybe people who intend to buy are just dragging their feet? I would get the important things knocked off your list so that at least you have those.

Post # 19
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would start buying the important stuff that you know you need like a car seat, bassinett, diapers etc… And then get other things as you can. If someone gets you something after the baby is born that you alrady got you can always return it.

Post # 21
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@SoontobeMsL: For the first month? Girl, all you’re going to need is diapers and wipes. Lol.

 

Go to Walmart and buy a bunch of cheap clothes. 

Post # 22
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t expect many gifts since you’re not having a shower. I’d just get everything you need yourself. If someone ends up giving you something you already bought you could always return it & buy diapers.  

Post # 23
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m curious why your mom doesn’t believe in showers?  My mom doesn’t want me to have a shower BEFORE the baby gets here, but is perfectly ok with having one after.  Do you think maybe it’s superstitious thing?

In my case I’m doing the same as you’re thinking to get the must have immediately larger items (car seat, stroller, bassinet) and enough clothes to get through a few weeks of the smallest size, but then am waiting until after to see what other gaps I need to fill in.

Post # 25
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

who do you expect to buy from the registry if you’re not having a shower? i wouldnt expect people to buy things for me if i wasn’t having a shower. i find it weird to tell people you aren’t having a shower but you’re registered here. its like, no im not having a shower but feel free to buy me a gift. its like you’re just expecting gifts… you said people have asked if you are having a shower and you said no but you’re registered here, if someone told me that i would kind of take it as a selfish move.

Post # 26
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@gpsp2B:  See, I feel kind of the opposite.  If I had a fairly close friend or a cousin that just didn’t have anybody to throw her a shower, I’d probably still want to get her a gift.  And feel bad that nobody threw her one, and probably get her a larger gift than I usually would.  In fact that’s exactly what happened with my cousin that I’m not that close with that moved to another province a while back, and doesn’t have many friends there yet, or much money to get back here for one.  I just called her up and told her I’d like to buy her carseat, and to tell me which one she’s picked up to X dollars (about the same as I’m planning to spend on mine, which I think is fairly mid-high priced).  It might not occur to me that they have a registry, but I’d probably still want to get them something.  Every new baby deserves to be special, I think.

 

 

 

Post # 27
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SoontobeMsL:  I’ve been to quite a few baby showers over the years but I’ve also purchased gifts for new babies when there wasn’t a shower. For all the instances of no showers, I purchased gifts AFTER the baby’s arrival and once I got an announcement. Since I’ve been to quite a few showers, I know how to search for registries online and usually find one there….BRU, Target, Walmart, Amazon. I’ve never been let down.

Personally since you aren’t having a shower, I’d make sure that the things you HAVE to have are purchased and not on your registry. Car seat, crib, sheets, some clothes/diapers. 

I think that babies are different than weddings….if I’m not invited to a wedding, I don’t buy gifts for people but even if I can’t attend (or wasn’t invited b/c of my Out of Town status) a baby shower, I still get them a gift….but usually only for the first baby… that’s a different topic though!

 

Post # 29
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think I’ve ever bought a baby gift before the baby’s birth, unless there’s a shower.  If no shower, I usually get something small (outfit, toy, children’s book…) and bring it over when I meet the baby.  If I’m not invited to a shower it just never occurs to me to look up registry info or to buy a bigger ticket item.

My son is a month old, and we had a shower and got tons of stuff, but so far the only things we have actually needed in the first month are diapers, wipes, carseat, crib, and blankets.  Most days he wears just a t-shirt and diaper and is wrapped up in a blanket, so don’t buy a bunch of tiny clothes… you won’t want to mess with fussy outfits when you’re changing 7637463 diapers a day and you will probably get a bunch of clothes from friends/family after your baby is born anyway.

Post # 30
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You definitely do not need furniture in the first month, so if money is tight I would return those items. The bassinet will be fine. I think necessities include feeding stuff (whether Boyfriend or Best Friend or formula/bottle), blankets/burp cloths, carseat, clothing, and diapers/wipes.

If there isn’t a shower, I’m not invited, or can’t attend, I usually wait until the baby is born and send or bring something like clothes, books, toys, or blankets. I’ve never looked up a registry if there wasn’t a shower.

Post # 31
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you should throw an meet the baby party to get a few items off your registry BUT you should go ahead now and get the essentials you need.  I would be so bummed if I didn’t have a shower for my first baby.  I am on my 4th (baby due end of August) and my mil and friend want to throw me a shower.  I feel odd about it but they really want to do it.

I say get your car seat, crip or bassinet, diapers, wipes and some clothes now that you’ll really need. A blanket and some socks and stuff.  After baby, people will bring clothes and if you have that welcome baby party and let the reistry be known, you might get some fun items like a swing, bouncy seat, etc.  

Wanted to also say thay even though I’ll be having a shower, dh and I are still buying all the major baby items ourselves: travel system, bouncy seat, bathtub, highchair, pack and play, swing, playgym, diaper bag, et….. people here mainly only gift clothes, blankets, diapers and wipes at showers.

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