(Closed) Not having a wedding party

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re not planning on having one either. I like the simplicity of it. The wedding is about the two of us, so it’ll just be us up there. I’m still going to have my closest friends help me get ready that morning, so thats all I really wanted a wedding party for anyway.

Plus, my friends are spread all over, none of them have much extra money right now, so I really don’t want to add costs for them, and it keeps my budget down, just a little bit.

Post # 5
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think it’s totally up to you! For me, I always imagined having my two sisters and two closest friends stand up there with me, so having a wedding party was a big deal. You can always have close friends help you get ready.

Post # 6
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My mom though I was crazy at first too (I think she was worried about what other people would think), but when she told people what we were doing, they all thought it was great, so she’s come around. I emphasized the “I want it to be about us” and the “my friends can’t really afford it and I want to be considerate” thing. I dunno if it helped, but everyone wanted a reason, so it was easier to have something to say.

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i thought about not having a wedding party too- until my sister called me and asked me why i didn’t ask her to be my moh yet! in the end i’m glad that we’re having a small wedding party. yes, it is costing a little bit more than i’d like, with their bouquets and wedding gifts, but they’ve been amazing and have thrown me the best bachelorette party and shower ever, so i know they’ll be amazing at the wedding too.

that being said, if you don’t want a wedding party, than i’d stick to that! i’m sure you’ll be happy with the decision, if you don’t have people up there with you that you’re truly happy with, it just makes things difficult.

Post # 8
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m not having one either! I have a few good friends from several different stages of my life, but they don’t particularly have much to say to each other, and they’re just not the “let’s all get together and get our hair done and giggle” types! So it didn’t really make sense to try to create that kind of situation. Just family in the Wedding Party, it’s totally fine.

Post # 9
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m not having one either!  Our wedding is really small, so we’re just inviting immediate family and those friends who would be in our wedding party if we had one.  At this point, if we had attendants, everyone would be up there with us!! hahaha. 

Post # 10
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are not having one either.  I didn’t like the idea of telling my closest friends (I don’t have any sisters) what to wear and how to do their hair. etc.  And I don’t understand the point of friends standing up there with the bride and groom.  It is not the friends making the decision.  I am still going to get ready with my friends and some of my close girl friends are throwing me a shower but no bridesmaids/groomsmen. 

Post # 11
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Hazelnut–yes!! I totally agree!!

Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re not having one, either. I have about ten girlfriends that I keep in contact with on a semi-regular basis (ditto for my fiancee), but their loyalty has waxed and waned over the years. Feelings would be hurt if I included one and left the other out, so to skip the drama, we’re not having a bridal party. Instead, my fiancee is going to have his brother stand as his best man and I’m going to have my mom give me away and remain standing as my matron of honor. She really is my best friend anyway!

I’m going to send out invitations to my girlfriends to invite them to be my unofficial bridesmaids, which means all they have to worry about is showing up, praying with me before the ceremony, and having a good time at the reception. No dresses, no processional, no titles.

I know some of my friends will be disappointed, but this is really the only way I know how to do it without going insane.

Post # 13
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, the day after I respond that we aren’t having a wedding party, Fiance tells me that he sorta wants to have a best man. Problem is, for me, its pretty much 0 or 3 (maybe 2, but I’d feel bad). So now, I’m not sure what to do….

Post # 14
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

One of my good friends actually just got married, and also decided to forego the wedding party.

In all honesty, it was not a noticed absence. If anything, it brought more focus to the couple, their vows and the ceremony.

Post # 15
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re not having one either. Just a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor, who will help out with holding the bouquet, handing out the rings and giving speeches if they would like to. I also told my Maid/Matron of Honor she can wear anything that she wants, thought the boys will probably get their tuxes together.

Post # 16
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re not having a wedding party!  We are having a small (~20 person) destination ceremony, so there’s no point to have people up there with us.  I’m still having my closest girlfriends and my fiance’s sister to help me get ready in the morning.  I feel dumb asking my friends to travel to my Destination Wedding AND pay for dresses, hair, make up, etc.  We love them and just glad that they are going to be there for us, we don’t need them standing up there with us or act like props in the photos.

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