(Closed) Not having bridal party – how to handle disappointed friends?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Why not offer them bridal party ‘status’ and have them walk down the aisle with you and stand beside you but just explain that most of the planning and getting ready is going to be shared just between you and Fiance or you and your mom or whatever. Explain that they mean a lot to you and you want them by your side but that its easier for you to just do all the planning. 

Post # 3
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

I am in the same boat! It’s just way easier to not have one. Our wedding is pretty small, and I did tell the few friends that are invited that they would have been in my bridal party if had one. I think I disappointed them a Bit more than I thought. Asking your 2 good friends to escort down the isle is a great way to let them know theyre extra special without putting the pressure of getting a dress, etc on them. Be sure to tell them that part 🙂 i am curious to see what others say too. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m the same – we’re not having a bridal party but there are definitely three friends (one in particular) who it would’ve been if we did. I’ve already asked my closest if she would like to give a speech at the reception which she absolutely was over the moon about. another has already told me she’s going to plan my hens. I might ask my sister to do a reading at the ceremony as well.  so they all know that it was a conscious decision not to have a bridal party but they are also aware of how important they are to me and will be involved in other ways – whether I’ve asked if they’d like to be involved in a different way, or whether they’ve just wanted to on their own. 

Post # 5
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Im only having my sister be an official bridesmaid. I think some of my girl friends might be a little dissapointed. But one of them has offered to sort my Hen do and im still hoping they will come get ready with me in the morning! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m doing the same thing for the same reasons. I think this is one of those situations where telling them sooner rather than later is best. Just get the news out there so they don’t let their imaginations run wild planning things. 

A complete aside but I’m still sad about this so want to blab: I just found out my best friend can’t come to our wedding. I completely understand the reasons why, her sister’s getting married less than a month after us, asked her to be maid of honor, and that would necessitate two expensive trips back east and a lot of time off of work in such a short span of time. I just can’t help but think that if I were having a wedding party and had asked her back in August when we set our date (her sister just set her date last month) then maybe she would make the extra effort to come to our wedding, but I know that’s not a helpful way to think. It is what it is. 

Post # 7
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

For real, they will be fine.  I just made it clear from the get-go that we weren’t doing the wedding party thing so no one had to wonder.

Post # 8
Hostess
4128 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I have a close group of high school friends and the first friend of this group to get married decided not to have a wedding party. Two of the girls were bummed because they really wanted to be bridesmaids (and then started asking me about my bridal party the second I got engaged!) but the others, including myself, were completely understanding. I don’t remember how my friend went about it, whether someone asked about it or she volunteered the information, but we knew pretty early on that she wasn’t planning to have a bridal party. If your friends are hurt, they will get over it.

Post # 10
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

I kinda know how you feel. We told people from the start though. My partner had a couple of friends call up and make “Why I Would Be A Good Best Man” speeches and he had to interrupt them halfway through and tell them we’re not having any of that. People seem pretty unimpressed about it, but at the end of the day it’s really not their decision. 

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