Post # 1
I am getting married in October. I am not sure I want to sleep with him that night. It will be really late (I have a mood disorder and I need to take my medication at night–not super late). I also frequently have pain during sex. My fiancé is well aware of both things, but I’m not sure if that’s not being fair? Sometimes when we plan things, the sex never goes well, or I have pain and we both are frustrated. I don’t want to remember my wedding night like that. I’m not sure what I should do. I don’t want to punish him for my issues.
Post # 3
I would just go with the flow, don’t plan anything. If your FI is already aware of the problems, I’m sure he would be fine with whatever happens. Don’t put any pressure on yourself 🙂
Post # 4
A lot of people don’t have sex on their wedding night – they’re just too exhausted, and are thrilled to be able to just go to bed and sleep.
Wait and see how you feel that night. Don’t overthink it, and certainly don’t plan anything ahead. Just let what happens happen.
Post # 5
@weightwatchers152: Regarding the pain issue…have you spoken to your doc about this? I had really bad pain that started about 2 years ago and kept getting worse. I HATED having sex and I would avoid it at all costs. Since there was no pain in the beginning of our relationship, my fiance assumed that it was because that I didn’t feel the same towards him and it took a toll on our relationship. I spoke to my doc and turns out i had endo with a tipped uterus. I got it taken care of via surgery and I cannot even begin to tell you what a difference that has made. It has really changed my life for the better. If you have not approached your doctor about this issue, I highly encourage that you do.
Post # 6
Does taking the medication prevent you from having sex? Also, has your gyn given you any ideas on how to lessen the pain? I’d start with the gyn. If you don’t have sex on the wedding night, you’re just putting off the inevitable. Good luck!
Post # 7
I think you should not plan anything and just see how you feel that night! You might be in the mood or might not be he might be in the mood or might not be. Alot of couples plan to have sex that night and end up drunk, exhausted, or a number of other reasons why they end up not having sex *that* night. Just don’t stress about it and go with the flow that night! 🙂
Post # 8
Plenty of people are too tired. I was. You new husband won’t begrudge you for it.
Post # 9
See how you feel..I could understand these issues coming up on the night and you deciding to hold off..I don’t understand deciding beforehand that you’re not having sex on your wedding night.
Post # 10
We didn’t have sex our wedding night…we were so DARN exhausted that I don’t even think it crossed either of our minds. We waited until the next night when we were relaxed, and ready to unwind and enjoy our honeymoon!
Neither of us have said a thing about our wedding night, but have talked continuously about the wedding DAY. In our minds, it was the most important part of the whole experience!
Post # 11
I have pain with intercourse too, so believe me, I know how much it sucks. I also don’t want to remember pain on my wedding night. If I decided I never wanted to have sex again, FI wouldn’t mind. However, I think I’m going to try my hardest to have sex on the wedding night, as my gift to him. 🙂
Post # 12
We both fell asleep..too tired to “do” anything on our wedding night.
Post # 13
A lot of people have told me they didn’t just becuase one the weeks before the wedding are packed and they are tired. Often time they been going for ten 12 hours and just want to sleep. I say don’t put any pressureo n yourself.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t commit to any plan ahead of time, but remember that other forms of intimacy that don’t involve intercourse could still feasibly be on the table.
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Many couples are too tired to have sex even if they had planned to, so I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 16
We didn’t have sex on the wedding night either. Don’t feel bad, you could be so tired that you don’t want to have sex.
I hope that you find out what is causing you pain. I have endometriosis and a pelvic pain condition that causes a lot of pain. I got a nerve to my uterus cut so I don’t feel the pain signals all the time anymore and I went to physical therapy and found out my lower vertebre were pretty out of line (I think this was caused by bad posture from the pain). Once those were moved, it has helped me tremendously.