(Closed) Not in brother's wedding and am hurt, help please!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
607 posts
Busy bee

I don’t blame you for being upset and I think your Future Sister-In-Law is making a mistake. However, you can’t do anything about it. I wouldn’t mention it either. One interesting thing in your post, though. You said you “approve of” his choice. That comes across as very over bearing as of course you know, your approval isn”t necessary or even appropriate. In my own family, I’d say that I like my siblings spouses, not approve of. If Future Sister-In-Law gets this vibe that you’re overly protective and perhaps controlling, she will rightfully keep you at arm’s length. That said, no need to be paranoid because there’s also a good chance she just has a ton of her own family and friend obligations and doesn’t have room for you, and they want to keep the sides even. I personally don’t get it but I don’t have to and neither do you. 

Post # 51
Member
36 posts
Newbee

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theresabow :  all because you aren’t in the bridal party doesn’t mean you won’t be in photos. That’s why you have family photos taken. You don’t have to be wearing a special dress and standing at the altar to show love and support to your brother and his soon to be wife. Seriously, you are overthinking their decision and using it as a reflection of your relationship. The bride simply chose people she was closer to for her bridal party, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you – it just means that she may have wanted her biological sisters or childhood friends by her side. Don’t take it personally! 

Post # 54
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

If I were your future SIL I would presume a grown ass woman with six kiss probably had better things to do than be my bridesmaid 

Post # 56
Member
476 posts
Helper bee

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theresabow :  “I also don’t what my sincere support to be unnoticed”

So what do you want? Do you really need to be rewarded for being a loving sister? Generally speaking, most people support their family and friends because they genuinely care for them, not because they expect to receive recognition for their kindness. 

Post # 57
Member
13654 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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theresabow :  My point is, she may not see it as a slap in the face, think of you as any less supportive, or have meant to hurt your feelings. You are imputing motives to her that she may not have and only looking at things from your own perspective.

Post # 60
Member
476 posts
Helper bee

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theresabow : I am an older sister to a brother. I don’t support my baby brother because I think I’ll get something out of it, I do it because I love him. 

Your brother and Future Sister-In-Law don’t owe you anything simply because you support their relationship. Their wedding isn’t about you. 

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