(Closed) Not in the wedding party, attending the bachelorette-who pays for what?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I do think it varies by circle, but if I were not a bridesmaid and attended a bachelorette, I would expect to pay for my food, drinks, and accommodations, and I’d try to help pay for the bride’s portion as well.

Post # 4
1030 posts
Bumble bee

we just chip in for the bride but pay for everything ourselves! may be different in different circles, though…

Post # 5
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s only fair that everything that you take part in, you pay. If you don’t stay at the hotel, you don’t pay but if you do, you should pay.

I have never heard of the bridal party covering expenses for everyone.

Post # 6
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have always contributed to the overall costs of a bachelorette party when attending as a guest (ie room rental, group costs like drinks, food, entertainment).

If that’s what the groomsmen are doing maybe it’s a nice gesture for the rest of the guests?  I wouldn’t expect it though.  I usually expect to be told, it’s $X per person.

Post # 7
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I always thought that everything at the bachelorette party gets split evenly by everyone who is coming.  For my sister’s, there are people coming who aren’t in the wedding party.  They are responsible for their piece of the hotel room, their food and drink, and the concert tickets, plus splitting the cost of everything for my sister.

I stepped up and paid for my sister’s ticket and her portion of the hotel room just to help everyone out a bit.

Post # 8
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve never heard of the bridal party paying everyone’s way as far as hotel is concerned. In all the parties I’ve been to, and in the one planned for me, the cost was split equally amongst the attendees, including my dinner/drink and night’s stay.

Maybe your FI’s party is organized differently, but as far as I know, it’s a rarer scenario. 

Post # 9
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

In the case of “parties” that are held for the Bride & Groom… Engagement, Showers, Bachelorettes etc… there are fewer standards on how things are done… these are cases when “regional” customs seem to come into play.

I suggest that you call up one of the Bridesmaids or the Maid/Matron of Honor and tell her you are thrilled to have been invited, but you want some more info about the details, and as a Guest what is expected of you.

Hope this helps,


Post # 11
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL

chip in for bride then everyone pays their own…

Post # 12
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

My bridesmaids did cover the room by themselves, but everything else was split between the people coming.

Most of the bachelorette’s I have been to however, I helped pay for all the stuff even if I was not in the party.

Post # 13
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Everyone splits the cost of the brides stuff and pays for their own! Atleast thats how they did it at mine

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