(Closed) Not Including Ushers in Limo?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s totally rude, they are a part of your wedding and should be included. If you can’t afford to include 2 more people I’d scrap it all together and then everyone can worry about their own transportation. Imagine if someone asked you to be a part of their wedding (no matter how big or small the job) and then told you that you couldn’t ride in the limo with the wedding party? My guess is that your feelings would be hurt. They commited to stand up for your fiance’ and are probably renting tuxes and taking the time/money to be there for the two of you.

Post # 5
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think that it’s rude.  Excluding the ushers from riding with the wedding party is just like using them for free labor.  Seating all of your guests is not fun, or an honor.  It’s work… just like being in a wedding party is a lot of work and responsibility.  Not allowing them in the limo is kind of like taking all of the fun out of it. Maybe you should not have ushers at all? What do groomsmen REALLY do the day of the wedding anyway… a couple of them couldn’t seat people? 

It’s not my intention to sound mean or be rude, it’s just that I attended a wedding a few weeks ago where this was the case.

Guests definitely talked about it. And I’m talking about younger guests who knew the people involved, as well as older guests who were seated by the ushers and then watched them be left behind.  They were told to follow behind the limo so they could go around with wedding party and still be in some of the group pictures.  The limo riders were drinking and visiting with friends, and the ushers were just driving around.  They missed cocktail hour, and weren’t introduced at the reception, but were expected to fulfill their “duties” all day.. it was kind of weird. Honestly it made me decide not to have ushers in my own wedding at all.   :/

Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I think the ushers are where you draw the line, I think it’s well known that people who are in tuxes and dresses over the age of 21 are the immediate wedding party. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Whoops. Double Post.

 

 

๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

@noodlefish:

I’m from MI and getting married in Grand Rapids in October. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

@Lydeeyah08: No problem, it’s what we’re here for!

Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My question with including the ushers though is what if one or two of our ushers are family members and they have significant others (one married and one who is expecting.) Wouldn’t we then also have to include them in the ride as well? We are also already looking at a 12 seater with the wedding party.. plus if we include our mistress and mister of the ceremony.. and one usher we are already looking at 15. (I don’t think our mistress and mister of the ceremony are going to ride though. I think they are heading right to the reception location. but don’t quote me.) Where do we draw the line there?

Post # 12
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ll weigh in on the other side of this! We are not including ushers in pictures and not requiring them to haul around with us after the ceremony. In My Humble Opinion if they do all that, why aren’t they just more groomsmen? Usher is on the same level as reader — the role is a nod to their significance to you/FI, and you give them a gift and a nice rehearsal dinner to show your appreciation.

I would think a guy would much prefer to be with his SO and enjoying cocktails or relaxing after the ceremony then squeezing into a limo and posing for a million pictures. From my experiences as a wedding party member…no one loves the picture taking as much as the bride (and sometimes groom?) does.

 

Post # 13
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no need to add significant others to the limo. I’m sure they  don’t expect to be able to spend all their time with their partner who is in the wedding party.The SO’s can make their own transportation arrangements.

Small children such as flower girls, ring bearers etc are probably happier in the care of their parents.

 

Post # 14
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I may be in the minority here, but I’ve been in quite a few weddings and attended at least a dozen or so and I’ve never actually seen the ushers ride in the limo with the bridal party…ours won’t be riding in our limos because after the ceremony we’re going to take pictures and I think they’d much rather hang out with friends/family somewhere else rather than sit around watching us take pictures lol

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