Post # 1
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
My fiance and I are looking into limos.. well.. I am. haha. I’m trying to decide the # of people who will be riding in the limo with us from the church to the reception. My wedding party looks like: 1 Maid of Honor, 1 Best Man, 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man & 4 Groomsmen = 10 of them total. SO initially I thought we’d need a limo to seat 12… but now my fiance mentioned he wants to have the ushers in the limo as well.. but I’m hesitant.
My question is.. Is it rude to NOT include the ushers? It’s not that I don’t want to include them.. it’s just..
1) I’m worried about money. As you know, limos are pricy. Normally I’d say adding a couple more wouldn’t matter, but we’re already at 12 riders.. it’s not like we have a small wedding party! ALSO, I’m realizing that we’re going to most likely have additional costs alongside our limo booking. Our ceremony & reception hall are not in the same city and a few companys I’ve talked to say they may have to charge more because of travel/distance.
2) My fiance isn’t as close to the ushers as he used to be. I think the main reason he wants to include them is because they’re friends with many of the Groomsmen. The ushers and some of the Groomsmen were former roommates.. but the difference is my fiance actually talks regularily to the guys he chose to be Groomsmen. I can’t honestly recall the last time he spoke to either of ushers since he asked them to be one!
Let me know what you think!! 🙂
Post # 3
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
I think it’s totally rude, they are a part of your wedding and should be included. If you can’t afford to include 2 more people I’d scrap it all together and then everyone can worry about their own transportation. Imagine if someone asked you to be a part of their wedding (no matter how big or small the job) and then told you that you couldn’t ride in the limo with the wedding party? My guess is that your feelings would be hurt. They commited to stand up for your fiance’ and are probably renting tuxes and taking the time/money to be there for the two of you.
Post # 4
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
@speulie: Thanks for your quick response. I see what your concern is about not including the ushers. I honestly would love for them to be a part of the ride. If I have them though, where do I stop? Or where do I draw the line? You said everyone who is a part of the wedding (wheter that job is big or small) should be included…but if I start including all other jobs, I’d need seats for the flower girl + famiy, ring bearer + family, the readers, parents, people who hand out programs, personal attendents, candle lighters!… Do you see my issue?
I agree with you though.. I will definitely include the ushers. Thanks for your input.
Post # 5
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
I think that it’s rude. Excluding the ushers from riding with the wedding party is just like using them for free labor. Seating all of your guests is not fun, or an honor. It’s work… just like being in a wedding party is a lot of work and responsibility. Not allowing them in the limo is kind of like taking all of the fun out of it. Maybe you should not have ushers at all? What do groomsmen REALLY do the day of the wedding anyway… a couple of them couldn’t seat people?
It’s not my intention to sound mean or be rude, it’s just that I attended a wedding a few weeks ago where this was the case.
Guests definitely talked about it. And I’m talking about younger guests who knew the people involved, as well as older guests who were seated by the ushers and then watched them be left behind. They were told to follow behind the limo so they could go around with wedding party and still be in some of the group pictures. The limo riders were drinking and visiting with friends, and the ushers were just driving around. They missed cocktail hour, and weren’t introduced at the reception, but were expected to fulfill their “duties” all day.. it was kind of weird. Honestly it made me decide not to have ushers in my own wedding at all. :/
Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
I think the ushers are where you draw the line, I think it’s well known that people who are in tuxes and dresses over the age of 21 are the immediate wedding party. 🙂
Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
@noodlefish:
I’m from MI and getting married in Grand Rapids in October. 🙂
Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
@noodlefish: Yea. I forgot about pictures… We don’t plan on having alcohol on the limo since my 11 year old brother is a groomsman and will OBVIOUSLY not be able to drink.. but I still agree with you that I should include them.
To the both of you..
I truly do appreciate this feedback. Honestly, I don’t have much experience with weddings let alone planning one! I’m not aware of this etiquette since I’ve rarely been a part of one (or even been a guest for that matter). I’m one of the first of my friends to get married and so need this advice. Thanks for being honest, but kind at the same time!
Post # 10
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
@Lydeeyah08: No problem, it’s what we’re here for!
Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
My question with including the ushers though is what if one or two of our ushers are family members and they have significant others (one married and one who is expecting.) Wouldn’t we then also have to include them in the ride as well? We are also already looking at a 12 seater with the wedding party.. plus if we include our mistress and mister of the ceremony.. and one usher we are already looking at 15. (I don’t think our mistress and mister of the ceremony are going to ride though. I think they are heading right to the reception location. but don’t quote me.) Where do we draw the line there?
Post # 12
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
I’ll weigh in on the other side of this! We are not including ushers in pictures and not requiring them to haul around with us after the ceremony. In My Humble Opinion if they do all that, why aren’t they just more groomsmen? Usher is on the same level as reader — the role is a nod to their significance to you/FI, and you give them a gift and a nice rehearsal dinner to show your appreciation.
I would think a guy would much prefer to be with his SO and enjoying cocktails or relaxing after the ceremony then squeezing into a limo and posing for a million pictures. From my experiences as a wedding party member…no one loves the picture taking as much as the bride (and sometimes groom?) does.
Post # 13
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
There is no need to add significant others to the limo. I’m sure they don’t expect to be able to spend all their time with their partner who is in the wedding party.The SO’s can make their own transportation arrangements.
Small children such as flower girls, ring bearers etc are probably happier in the care of their parents.
Post # 14
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
I may be in the minority here, but I’ve been in quite a few weddings and attended at least a dozen or so and I’ve never actually seen the ushers ride in the limo with the bridal party…ours won’t be riding in our limos because after the ceremony we’re going to take pictures and I think they’d much rather hang out with friends/family somewhere else rather than sit around watching us take pictures lol