Not invited to long term bf's best friend's wedding

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
810 posts
Busy bee

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blond1990 :  I can understand why you’d feel betrayed by him if he goes without you because he’s not putting your unit in front of his friends/fun. But I really think you should have him clarify the +1 situation and see if it was just an oversight. If they say yes, then great, you can go and have fun. If they say NO and your boyfriend still goes without you, then maybe you’ll have more reason to start reevaluating the relationship. 

Post # 79
194 posts
Blushing bee

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blond1990 :  why would it be a “boys weekend ” ?? Arent all the other guys’ gfs/wives going to be present??



Post # 80
2029 posts
Buzzing bee

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blond1990 :  for what it’s worth, I totally understand your feelings and being upset. As many of us do agree with you that it was rude you weren’t invited

**the issue here (aside from your relationship issues that we don’t have to get into) is that you are being stubborn and refusing to clarify what COULD have been a simple miscommunication.

You are shooting yourself in the foot by stewing about a situation you are not even sure is a REAL issue. Maybe it was an oversight, maybe it was on purpose. Your bf wanted to find out- that is a good thing that he wanted to clarify and get to the bottom of it. So let him! He can word it very kindly and from a perspective of just trying to clarify. 

If you were a bride and made a mistake, wouldn’t you rather someone give you the benefit of the doubt and communicate with you, even if it is awkward? Rather than get angry and assume the worst? 

The worst that happens is she says no. Which you are already dealing with and assuming is the case.

Consider letting your bf clarify and then you can handle it together and if he doesn’t react in a way you’re happy with, THEN talk to him about that. This can lead to a good heart to heart with your bf and help you address some of the other issues if you handle it in a constructive manner.

I really caution you about being stubborn- it can be damaging to relationships. I have learned that the hard way and it is sometimes better to let go and just communicate rather than hold onto anger. Good luck!

Post # 81
2146 posts
Buzzing bee

We don’t know what you have said to your boyfriend, only what you portray here – and while everyone agrees that it’s upsetting and rude, many think your reaction is over the top. Maybe you ought to think about why that is instead of dismissing it, because clearly according to some other things the bees have posted, your relationship isn’t great as it is. 

I understand it all feels like a personal attack, but trust me no one on here is perfect. I certainly have made some stupid decisions, way overreacted to things in relationships, and made any number of mistakes. You can have an over-the-top, completely dramatic reaction to something and still be a great person and a good girlfriend. However, in your posts here, all you seem to be taking in are the posts from people who agree with you. It’s a sign of maturity to be able to consider all viewpoints, even if they run contrary to your own, and the fact that you would rather call people bullying and mean rather than examine your own actions is pretty telling. 

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