(Closed) Not invited to my BM's rehearsal dinner. Invite her FI to ours?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 17
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow…..that is a hard pill to swallow, but if it across the board and no one is bringing their SO I would let it go (even though I would be super pissed). I suggest kill her with kindess and invite her to yours and even send a thank you note for her coming (assuming she does). She may never admit it, but trust me she will be riddled with guilt!

Post # 18
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m actually a little suprised about all the people who chimed in that SO’s should be at the rehersal dinner. I don’t know if it’s just a cultural thing or what, but I’ve never been to a rehersal dinner where SO’s were involved. Nobody’s SO is invited to mine either. Now, money does have a small part to do with it, but the larger part is that, to me, the people who should be coming to my rehersal are people who ACTUALLY have a part in my wedding, and the dinner afterwards is a “thank you” for them trekking out the day before to get their parts straight and to be with us. If I allowed everyone to bring a date or whatever, it would just balloon into a pre-wedding-lite, which is silly. A rehersal serves a purpose, which is showing people what theyre doing on the wedding day… the prescence of an SO is pretty pointless, and just looks like theyre there for a free dinner. 

IMO, the only people that should be invited to a rehersal that arent in the wedding party are those who traveled from out of state to get there… again, as an extra thank you.

Maybe she has similar views on the rehersal dinner? It’s not always about money, sometimes it’s just about not wanting 20 extra people milling around while youre trying to get things done and communicate to the wedding party.   

Post # 19
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are inviting the bridal party and out of town guests, their SOs, and their children.  We don’t want anybody to feel left out so my MIL altered the menu choices so she could afford to feed everyone.  (Although it is irritating that my 60 person wedding has a 40 person (!!!!) rehearsal dinner the night before because at that point it’s like, why not just get married at the rehearsal dinner since everybody is pretty much there already??  >.<)

Post # 20
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s prob a budget issue. My daughter had to jump through hoops to stay in the grooms parents budget. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that she does not like you or that it’s a slight. Some things can’t be helped.

Post # 21
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

why are you making her a bridesmaid if she didn’t even invite you to her rehearsal dinner? I get she’s your FIs best friend, but out of respect for him you should have been invited, you guys are engaged not his gf of two week. That’s really rude. Is your Fi still gonna go without you? I would be the proper one and invite her Fiance to yours…annoying but what can u do? Good luck keep updated!

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