(Closed) Not invited to Partners’ Dad’s wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I would be hurt too. Have you asked your Fiance about it? I would be a little upset if my Fiance didn’t defend me or ask why and have a chat with him. 

Do any of his siblings have SOs that are invited? If they didn’t invite anybody else’s SO then maybe they are just being strict on only wanting the kids to be there.

Post # 4
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like a “family only” event, meaning married into the family only, is that right?

Post # 5
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you’re engaged and have been with your partner 5 years, you’re “family.” I would insist that your Fiance ask about it.

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe its a difficult subject for Fiance and Dad, so it was a non negotiable.

its probably a really strict family guideline and highly personal & private.

I’ve dealt with some pretty crappy death situations and I know it gets really wierd. I’m so sorry you feel embarassed and not “family” enough to be included ( I know thats your reasoning and feeling). If it really bothers you ask more of your Fiance as to why he didn’t ask, just to keep things in your communication line going smoothly.

 

Post # 8
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be really hurt, especially if you know them personally. I would be more hurt that SO didn’t question it.

 

I’ve never spoken to any of my SO’s family. Ever. They are from a country across the world and a whole different culture and have a million children…they just assume we are already married and never ask about me or contact him at all. He phones about once a year. In a way I am GRATEFUL for it because it takes all the family crap out of the equation.

 

Post # 9
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

If they’re only having 10 total and just inviting family members that they’re super close to, I honestly wouldn’t feel too bad about it.

Put yourself in their shoes. They’re putting this thing together super fast just so her dying father can see her get married. That’s not exactly every little girl’s dream, and it’s going to be hard for her. I don’t know about you, but I sure as heck wouldn’t want to have to put on a happy face for someone I haven’t known that long (comparatively) at such an emotionally charged time.

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We always say to every bride that doesn’t want to invite someone that it’s there day and if they don’t want that person there it’s their decision. 

It may be sad for you, but you’re just the person they dont’ want there. Regardless of the reason, it’s their day. Respect their decision and move on.

Post # 12
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@SandyDollHair: “I’ve never spoken to any of my SO’s family. Ever. They are from a country across the world and a whole different culture and have a million children…they just assume we are already married and never ask about me or contact him at all. He phones about once a year.”

You’re so lucky! Cry <– tears of joy.

Post # 13
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mwitter80: wow, you’re right. Weird seeing it from this point of view.

Post # 14
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

There are a bunch of pictures from my brother’s wedding with my ex in the pictures.  TONS of photos.  We had been dating for four years and it was just “a given” that we would get married.  Now I really hate looking at those photos, which sucks because I love my brother and SIL dearly.  So I get why people have that kind of rule. 

My now-husband wasn’t allowed in any family pictures until we were married because of that.  I was pissed at the time, but now we joke about it.

Post # 15
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MightySapphire: My FI’s family had that kind of rule established at a family reunion. At the time we were a few months from being engaged and FI’s sister was engaged. His sister’s Fiance and I weren’t allowed in any of the family photos except for the very last one because we weren’t an official part of the family yet.

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