(Closed) Not invited to wedding…. advice… (LONG)

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

Yay! Glad to see your update. I think you scored major girlfriend points by being cool about the situation even though I totally understand why it bothered you. And he scored major boyfriend points by recognizing how inappropriate that was and rectifying it. Talk about a win-win!

Post # 32
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

stardustintheeyes:  Great update! This is what the Bee is for – make a big deal on here and minimize the real life drama. 😛

Post # 33
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

 

stardustintheeyes:  REDACTED! Read your update! Great!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  bassbee.
Post # 34
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had a similar situation with my Fiance and his bff (she was married and ten plus years his senior) but she had major issues with me when I arrived on the scene. Even using her kids and her relatives to give him guilt trips when he spent time with me. My Fiance was not as amazing as your SO seems to be and we had issues. You’re a lucky girl! 🙂 Glad it all worked out and that you are on his mind when it comes to couples stuff. 

Post # 35
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

stardustintheeyes:  Boundaries are an absolute must! I totally agree! I didn’t mean to imply that you don’t understand, so I’m sorry if it came off that way. As I said, I really think you’re all handling this very well. Truly. There are a lot of women that would lose their shit in your position and it’s refreshing to see someone who can handle things with grace. And you’re absolutely right that it’s hard when a friendship changes, no matter if you’re the same or different genders. We’re all creatures of habit, changing our relationship dynamics is always a bit rocky. But it sounds like your SO is a fantastic catch and his friend is pretty cool, as well. Hopefully, with time, you’ll all settle into a new dynamic that you’re all happy with. You don’t know any hot girls you could set her up with, do you? Double dates are always fun!

Post # 36
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

stardustintheeyes: personally, I don’t think the best friendship is very healthy. I was once the best friend in a similar scenario, except I had moved away from my friend and we only imed or called. 

His now wife was not ok with our friendship so we went no contact for years and broke longstanding plans to dance at each others’ weddings. 

Fuckin painful. 

for your situation I would just be very very clear how this bullshit makes you feel. His bestie has some boundary issues. 

Post # 38
Member
532 posts
Busy bee

 

stardustintheeyes:  Wait, your 30th birthday is that weekend? Is it the same day as the wedding? Are you sure he isn’t trying to throw you off? 30 is a big deal birthday!<br />Also, do you trust this chick? It could be me being the jealous type. That wouldn’t fly with me at all. I feel like there is always an agenda behind stuff like that? Not from your guy but from the girl. Could she try messing up your relationship? You know her better so only you can really answer it. You two are a couple now so he should be going with you. Especially if it is your birthday. Keep us posted on what you do.

Post # 39
Member
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

stardustintheeyes:  that’s an awesome update and kudos to your Fiance for realizing that the sitation was weird and doing something about it!

If he was invited as a guest with no +1 that wouldn’t be weird, going as someone elses date, that’s a little weird even it is a childhood friend.

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