(Closed) Not invited to wedding, but were invited to shower. Now what?!?!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

That’s really awkward! If your budget can handle it and if you’re not having a super intimate wedding, I would just invite them to save yourself the headache.

Otherwise I would just not say anything, and if they happen to ask about it (which they may not, especially if you’re not close) just gently explain that someone else did the inviting, it was out of your control, and that unfortunately the wedding guest list was set a long time ago due to budget constraints. Good luck!

Post # 4
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

oo that is awkward! I hope whoever does my shower makes sure to clear the guest list by me! I know etiquette says if they’re invited to the shower, they’re invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Most of the no RSVPs we got back were at the last minute (and some rude people just didn’t RSVP at all!)  I would just wait to see if you can fit them in.  You can’t control that they were invited to the shower, and it would be a shame if you couldn’t fit them in, but it’s not your fault.  Don’t stress too much, I don’t think people at the shower are going to talk about getting their invitations.

Post # 7
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would probably send them an invite before the shower if it was me.  Even though the guest list should have been cleared with you the fact that it wasn’t makes for a really awkward situation.  Bummer!

Post # 8
35 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

if it’s just a few people I think you can send them an invite and hope for the best?  but if it’s more, then wait on it perhaps.

Post # 9
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would say to invite them and hopefully there’s room. I’ve heard that there are usually people who don’t show up for one flakey reason or other after they rsvp’d.  So hope the best and talk to your friends about clearing all invites with you.

Post # 10
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is why I emailed my Maid/Matron of Honor the guest list for the wedding so she can know who to send invites to for the shower, there are alot of friends I unfortunatly cant invite so I had to make it clear

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