Post # 1
I know there have been similar posts like this in the past, but it’s post-a-thon night and I need help!
Friends of ours graciously offered to throw us a co-ed shower. It’s very sweet of them and I am very touched by it. BUT, they sent out the Evite without clearing the guest list with us first. AND they invited people we did not invite to the wedding. One couple in particular, P&L, have now rsvp’d that they are coming. I’m guessing that they think they are probably also invited to the wedding. It’s going to be incredibly awkward when they get to the shower and realize that everyone else got a wedding invite 2 weeks ago and they didn’t.
P&L are old friends of Fiance that we usually only see during football season. We rarely socialize outside of tailgating. I really like P&L and would hate to cause any hurt feelings, but we just aren’t that close. We have already over-invited some for our wedding and haven’t gotten back enough no’s yet to tell if we can squeeze them in.
Do I send them an wedding invitation prior to the shower so as to avoid awkwardness, or do I keep my budget under control?
Post # 3
That’s really awkward! If your budget can handle it and if you’re not having a super intimate wedding, I would just invite them to save yourself the headache.
Otherwise I would just not say anything, and if they happen to ask about it (which they may not, especially if you’re not close) just gently explain that someone else did the inviting, it was out of your control, and that unfortunately the wedding guest list was set a long time ago due to budget constraints. Good luck!
Post # 4
oo that is awkward! I hope whoever does my shower makes sure to clear the guest list by me! I know etiquette says if they’re invited to the shower, they’re invited to the wedding.
Post # 5
I should add that we invited 93 people and budgeted for 70 people. We only have some RSVPs back, but we are half full already.
Post # 6
Most of the no RSVPs we got back were at the last minute (and some rude people just didn’t RSVP at all!) I would just wait to see if you can fit them in. You can’t control that they were invited to the shower, and it would be a shame if you couldn’t fit them in, but it’s not your fault. Don’t stress too much, I don’t think people at the shower are going to talk about getting their invitations.
Post # 7
I would probably send them an invite before the shower if it was me. Even though the guest list should have been cleared with you the fact that it wasn’t makes for a really awkward situation. Bummer!
Post # 8
if it’s just a few people I think you can send them an invite and hope for the best? but if it’s more, then wait on it perhaps.
Post # 9
I would say to invite them and hopefully there’s room. I’ve heard that there are usually people who don’t show up for one flakey reason or other after they rsvp’d. So hope the best and talk to your friends about clearing all invites with you.
Post # 10
This is why I emailed my Maid/Matron of Honor the guest list for the wedding so she can know who to send invites to for the shower, there are alot of friends I unfortunatly cant invite so I had to make it clear