(Closed) not invited to wedding-is a gift required

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Technically, you don’t have to give anyone a gift, even if you are invited.  If you want to give one, do. . . but if not, don’t.  

Post # 4
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Welcome to Weddingbee!  Well, she didn’t invite you, so I think that releases your obligation for getting her a gift.  Maybe you can send her a nice card with a thoughtful note inside?

Post # 5
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

no invite no gifts

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

A thoughtful card will do. For your niece to expect anything more would be downright snarky. In the meantime, keep your head held high and be glad you don’t have to pay for a plane ticket!

Post # 7
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with the ladies, you do not have to buy your niece a gift. A card with best wishes would suffice but even that is not required. I am sorry this happened to you.

Post # 8
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m sorry that this happened. I know you must be upset. I don’t think you have to send her a gift and if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine. BUT, if it were me, I would get over it after awhile and be a litle sad that I didn’t give her anything. I’m a nut!

Post # 9
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I am in the camp that if you don’t want to send her a gift, don, even if it’s because you are hurt.  You might want to make an effort to send a nice card, so you don’t look like sour grapes.  But she made her choices regarding her wedding.  It’s fine for you to respond accordingly.

Post # 10
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Is it possible that she didn’t think you could afford it, or that her mother is paying for part of the wedding and that’s why her friends were invited?  Is it a very small wedding?  I don’t think anyone was trying to snub you by not inviting you, but I don’t have all the details.

Despite all that, a gift is NEVER required.  To keep an amicable relationship, I would send a card if you don’t feel you want to give a gift.

Post # 11
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t feel obligated to give her a gift but like others say, a card will be a nice sentiment that will not cool your relationship.

Post # 12
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry you are hurt by this and did not get invited. A gift is not necessary but I agree with the other posters that a nice card will do!

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the other ladies here: no invite = no gift.

I’m sorry too that you weren’t invited – but like other ladies said – it saves you from having to buy a plane ticket and pay for accommodations.

Post # 14
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

If you are not invited to the wedding or a reception when they return, then no gift is required.

Post # 14
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

One technically isn’t obligated to give a gift even if you are invited (although you really should). But no invite = no gift, plain and simple.

Post # 15
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

metalsandman999:  this thread is 6 years old. I doubt the OP is still in need of advice

The topic ‘not invited to wedding-is a gift required’ is closed to new replies.

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