(Closed) not inviting all members of a group of friends

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would say just invite them. Some of them probably won’t come anyways then u won’t feel bad and they won’t be angry

Post # 5
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s not really polite (in my opinion) to invite guests that you would rather didn’t attend your event!

It’s also pretty rude – in general – to tell people “You aren’t invited to my party.”  These women are probably aware of the relationship you have with them – they KNOW that you don’t have lunch with them or watch movies with them, or see them in between your monthly prayer meetings.  It would be far more awkward to make an announcement “I’m having a wedding, but I won’t be inviting you. Sorry…” than to just invite the group leader and mention to her that you’re having a smaller, more intimate wedding, and your guest list doesn’t include the entire prayer group.

If these ladies have planned any events recently they’ll be aware of the tough choices that are made with guest lists.  It’s unlikely you’ll offend them by not inviting them.  Just continue to be friendly and polite when you see them, and try not to gush too much about an event to which you aren’t inviting them.

Post # 6
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I definitely wouldn’t announce that you aren’t inviting them.  If anyone asks if they are invited, I would treat it like any other non-invited guest.  You could also be frank about it – meaning – if it comes up in your prayer group how wedding planning is going – say something about how excited you are to have a very small, intimate wedding – or something to that affect (so it’s obvious that aquaintences aren’t invited).

As for the facilitator – after (or close to) when you mail your invites or STD’s, I’d mention to her that you only are inviting her and to keep it on the DL from the other ladies (unless it comes up in conversation before then).

Post # 7
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I have a group of friends that only some will be invited as well. I am not going to say anything to those not on the list, I think they will figure it out. Honestly I think it would be more awkward to say anything. I’m sure they understand that you are closer to certain people over others.

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