(Closed) Not inviting cousins?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Are you inviting your first cousins??
    Of Course!! ALL family is invited! That's just what you do! : (14 votes)
    54 %
    I invited my Aunts and Uncles but not first cousins. : (9 votes)
    35 %
    I am having a super small wedding, so I am not inviting any aunts, uncles or cousins : (3 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I have about 15 aunts & uncles and around 50 or so cousins… so no I’m not inviting all of them lol or my wedding would be way too expensive!  I’d say only invite the ones you are really close too.  If you would like your cousin to be there, invite him. 

    Post # 4
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    First cousins, aunts and uncles should be an automatic. It’s anyone beyond that where you can/should start being more selective.


    ETA: Even if they sent all invites out at the same time, doesn’t mean they will all be delivered at the same time. Even if you live in the same city, they may sort certain areas or streets before they sort others.

    Post # 5
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t invite all my cousins weather their parents got an invite or not.  My wedding is in my backyard and I can’t accomodate everyone.  So, I invited the ones I was closeset to growing up.  Which ended up being only 4 cousins out of 14.

    Post # 6
    11356 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I couldn’t vote in the poll, because not all family was invited, but I did invite my first cousins and their spouses and any minor children still living at home with them.  We did not invite DH’s first cousins, however, because he already has such a large number of siblings, nieces, and nephews.

    Post # 7
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m not particularly close with my cousins (I last saw any of them maybe three years ago) so it was no skin off my back to not include them. On the flipside, Dear Fiance comes from a really close family and we see his aunts/uncles and cousins often, even vacationing every year with them. No question his cousins are getting invited. I have a set number of guests we can afford and I’m not dumping close friends so family I never see can attend.

    Post # 8
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are inviting aunts and uncles but not cousins.

    We have a 50 person guest list. Cousins, spouses and their kids would mean an extra 45 invites. Plus I was never close with my cousins (almost all of them picked on me as a kid and I do not have fond memories of extended family visits).

    However, instead of letting them wait for an invitation that wasn’t coming, I sent an email to explain that we have chosen a small destination wedding and cannot accommodate more than 50 guests (immediate family, grandparents and aunts and uncles). I’m sure this wasn’t proper etiquette but I would have appreciated it if I were them.


    Post # 10
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    We are having all my cousins at mine, but my eldest cousin didn’t have anyone aside from her mum and brother and some really close friends at hers, to keep it small, because there are a lot of us! And she phoned us all personally and explained why, so most of us weren’t offended! (There’s always someone, but that’s families for you)

    Post # 11
    1274 posts
    Bumble bee

    We are not inviting cousins simply because we’re not close with them and cannot afford to have  all the 20+ cousins on my side there with dates/SO’s. 

    My one cousin that is 5 years younger than me is a bridesmaid because we are super close and she lived with my parents at one point as a teenager. I felt weird about not inviting cousins for a bit especially because I am close with a few of my aunts and uncles, but it just can’t happen financially. 

    Although obviously I haven’t had my wedding so I don’t know if this will cause any weirdness. We hope not, but we have to stick to our budget and our plan for the wedding. 

    Post # 12
    476 posts
    Helper bee

    I wonder if his fiance has a big family and if they decided that including his cousins would mean also including hers. Maybe it’s not that he has too many cousins, maybe the two of the combined have too many and they decided to leave them all out to be fair

    Post # 13
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    We did not invite any aunts, uncles, or cousins on my side of the family. My parents both come from larger families, so just inviting aunts/uncles and their spouses would have added 14 people to the list. If we added my first cousins and their spouses, that would be another 50 people, and second cousins would add another 100 or so. That would have been my idea of hell. So yeah, we kept it to 35 of our nearest and dearest, and we loved our small guestlist.

    Post # 14
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I only have 4 cousins total so yes, they were all invited.

    Post # 15
    911 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

    I am being “gently forced” to invite all my cousins – 2nd and 3rd as well – but I wish I didn’t have to, to be honest.

    Im not close to them, but my parents aren’t having it. Everyone is invited.

    I wasn’t invited to some of their weddings though. So, I guess I can see both sides to it.

    Post # 16
    403 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My family is small, whereas FH’s family is huge. We’re planning to invite all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins; on his side, however, we’re only inviting the people he’s closest to.

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