Post # 1
So, my cousin is getting married in December in Florida. I live in Chicago. We used to be extremely close when we were younger like brother and sister, until he moved away 13 years ago, and we have not kept in touch. I used to go down to visit my aunt, who is also my Godmother, he would usually be out with his buddies so I didn’t see him much. He is getting married in December. My parents recieved thier invitation, but I did not get one. 🙁 I had every intention on inviting him to mine, and I still will. It’s just wierd. I have a very good relationship with my aunt, so it just sucks to be discluded, and out of everyone in family, I was the only one who even considered going, but I guess now that I’m not invited I don’t have to worry about it. My parents recieved thier invitation 2 days ago. I guess mine could still be in the mail, but don’t you send out invites all at the same time?
Has anyone ever not included thier first cousins? Especially if you invited your aunts and uncles?
Post # 3
I have about 15 aunts & uncles and around 50 or so cousins… so no I’m not inviting all of them lol or my wedding would be way too expensive! I’d say only invite the ones you are really close too. If you would like your cousin to be there, invite him.
Post # 4
First cousins, aunts and uncles should be an automatic. It’s anyone beyond that where you can/should start being more selective.
ETA: Even if they sent all invites out at the same time, doesn’t mean they will all be delivered at the same time. Even if you live in the same city, they may sort certain areas or streets before they sort others.
Post # 5
I didn’t invite all my cousins weather their parents got an invite or not. My wedding is in my backyard and I can’t accomodate everyone. So, I invited the ones I was closeset to growing up. Which ended up being only 4 cousins out of 14.
Post # 6
I couldn’t vote in the poll, because not all family was invited, but I did invite my first cousins and their spouses and any minor children still living at home with them. We did not invite DH’s first cousins, however, because he already has such a large number of siblings, nieces, and nephews.
Post # 7
I’m not particularly close with my cousins (I last saw any of them maybe three years ago) so it was no skin off my back to not include them. On the flipside, Dear Fiance comes from a really close family and we see his aunts/uncles and cousins often, even vacationing every year with them. No question his cousins are getting invited. I have a set number of guests we can afford and I’m not dumping close friends so family I never see can attend.
Post # 8
We are inviting aunts and uncles but not cousins.
We have a 50 person guest list. Cousins, spouses and their kids would mean an extra 45 invites. Plus I was never close with my cousins (almost all of them picked on me as a kid and I do not have fond memories of extended family visits).
However, instead of letting them wait for an invitation that wasn’t coming, I sent an email to explain that we have chosen a small destination wedding and cannot accommodate more than 50 guests (immediate family, grandparents and aunts and uncles). I’m sure this wasn’t proper etiquette but I would have appreciated it if I were them.
Post # 9
All of my other aunts are shocked that the cousins, especially myself, are not invited. It’s just not something we do in our family. We always invite EVERYONE to every celebration. Oh well, at first I felt bad for him because I knew none of my family was planning on making the trip down there, and was thinking I would go to support him. Now I can save money for my own wedding.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
We are having all my cousins at mine, but my eldest cousin didn’t have anyone aside from her mum and brother and some really close friends at hers, to keep it small, because there are a lot of us! And she phoned us all personally and explained why, so most of us weren’t offended! (There’s always someone, but that’s families for you)
Post # 11
We are not inviting cousins simply because we’re not close with them and cannot afford to have all the 20+ cousins on my side there with dates/SO’s.
My one cousin that is 5 years younger than me is a bridesmaid because we are super close and she lived with my parents at one point as a teenager. I felt weird about not inviting cousins for a bit especially because I am close with a few of my aunts and uncles, but it just can’t happen financially.
Although obviously I haven’t had my wedding so I don’t know if this will cause any weirdness. We hope not, but we have to stick to our budget and our plan for the wedding.
Post # 12
I wonder if his fiance has a big family and if they decided that including his cousins would mean also including hers. Maybe it’s not that he has too many cousins, maybe the two of the combined have too many and they decided to leave them all out to be fair
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We did not invite any aunts, uncles, or cousins on my side of the family. My parents both come from larger families, so just inviting aunts/uncles and their spouses would have added 14 people to the list. If we added my first cousins and their spouses, that would be another 50 people, and second cousins would add another 100 or so. That would have been my idea of hell. So yeah, we kept it to 35 of our nearest and dearest, and we loved our small guestlist.
Post # 14
I only have 4 cousins total so yes, they were all invited.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
I am being “gently forced” to invite all my cousins – 2nd and 3rd as well – but I wish I didn’t have to, to be honest.
Im not close to them, but my parents aren’t having it. Everyone is invited.
I wasn’t invited to some of their weddings though. So, I guess I can see both sides to it.
Post # 16
My family is small, whereas FH’s family is huge. We’re planning to invite all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins; on his side, however, we’re only inviting the people he’s closest to.