Post # 1
So despite the joy of planning a wedding, I’m also faced with the awkward and difficult situation of not wanting to invite several different family members. First things first, my father and I have NOT had a normal relationship since I was a child. My parents were divorced early in my life and he began dating another woman when I was about 12 years old, and since that time she took precedence over me and my sister. He was not present in my life since about middle school for the most part (I’m now 24) and didn’t particularly try very hard to maintain a relationship with me, except to say happy birthday. Then months after not talking to me, would try tell me it was my fault, even though HE is the parent and it is his responsibility to stay in contact with his child. That being said, I do not plan on inviting him, which is difficult enough because he is very dramatic, but now I also feel that I cannot invite anyone from his side of the family either. His two sisters (my aunts) live in Arizona (I’m in NY) and are friends with me on Facebook so they are aware of my engagement. I haven’t seen either of them, or my father’s parents in >10 years. The one aunt sends sweet messages often (more than my dad ever has) so I would feel kinda bad for not inviting her and her daughter (my cousin). I tend to overthink these things so am looking for some outside perspective! I am trying to keep the wedding as small as possible and am already up to 100 guests.
Post # 2
I will have no family at my wedding. There is so much bad blood that I can’t. I don’t speak to my father. My mom died this year. And the family he has I can’t stand either. These people are not part of my life. I have no desire to have them apart of this day. Just invite those you want. Don’t feel bad.
Family isn’t always blood.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
This is a tough spot to be in. Outside perspective may not be the best advice. I would suggest talking to your sister who knows and lives the same situation and get her take on it.
Post # 4
You’re in a tough situation. I do feel like you shouldn’t have to cut off and not invite your father’s entire side of the family if you don’t want to. If you want to invite your paternal aunt and cousin, if you feel you are close enough with them and would like them there then I would inivte them. Your relationship with your father doesn’t have to sever all of your relationships with his side of the family, unless they are as bad as he is. That’s just my opinion.
Post # 5
I’m pretty much in your exact scenario. My Dad has a huge family, and we are fb friends, but havent seen each other in years. I only invited 1 couple from my dads side, no one else. I definitely wasnt inviting my father, and there isn’t any ill will towards the rest of the family, I just…dont want them there lol. They know the wedding is next weekend, I assume they know they aren’t invited. I dont really care what they think tbh.
Post # 6
I wish I could have your attitude about it! I think about everyone else’s feelings too much.
Post # 7
Do you see them often? I literally haven’t seen these people (besides the couple I invited) in 10+ years. So it makes it easier to not care haha.
Post # 8
because of the already established issues with your dad and thus lack of obligation on your part, it’s perfectly fine to just keep it very simple.
Think about these people one by one. If they make you smile and feel good, invite them. If they don’t, do not invite them.