Post # 1
Ex from MIL 2nd marriage, future hubby was ~7…they had another child, Then divorced, they were together ~5 years total…after the divorce he went and told everyone in the community who would listen that my fiance was a horrible child, and his mother was unfit, and now says my fiance is what he is because of him…*sigh*
I do not want to invite this man just to avoid any issues with my future mother in law and her brand new husband, and my future brother in law and this guy fight nonstop. My fiance and him are not close at all, he truly is a very nice man, I don’t have a single issue with him…I just want to survery you guys to find out what is most appropriate to do. Is he required to recieve an invite??? My fiance doesn’t care if he’s there, but he thinks we should send him an invite because its his brothers father. Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
@ForeverAndEverAfter: I think on your FI’s biological father and his current step father have to be invited. The former step father doesn’t have to be invited so it’s just a question of do you want to. If he constantly fights with your FBL then to avoid conflict don’t invite him. Good luck
Post # 6
Ummm definitely not. I see zero reason to invite him.
Post # 7
You said they fight non-stop. No one wants him there unless you are looking for problems and drama …. will he sit in the front row with the rest of the family? Does he sit at the table with FMIL?
Why would you want someone at your wedding that makes everyone miserable? It’s not like a grandmother, this guy is nothing to your FH, FMIL & sounds like he doesn’t mean much to his own bio son. Let the FBIL’s Future wife deal with the mess.
Post # 8
@ForeverAndEverAfter: Why should he be invited just because his son (FI’s brother) will be there? I’m sure FI’s brother spends time with each of his parents separately, and is quite used to being at events with only one parent.
Post # 9
Nope. if everyone is agreement, no need to invite this guy.
Post # 10
@ForeverAndEverAfter: I think this is your FI’s decision but no, i wouldn’t invite him.
Post # 11
Thanks to all for the opinions!!! I’m worried–my fiancé is going to have dinner with his brother tonight and let him know that the bee has spoken…(lol)…will update!
Post # 12
@ForeverAndEverAfter: It’s your FI’s call but under the circumstances, I don’t see that he requires an invitation.
Would he feel slighted and gripe to your FBIL if he doesn’t receive one?
Post # 13
@Zhabeego: I’m almost certain there will be some griping, but I much prefer gripe pre wedding, then a slug-out between my new step father in law, (who we all love & adore), and the ex step father in law. Also, he is an amature photographer, and no matter how much we protest or ask him not to, each and every single time we get together there is literally a minimum of 50 posed pictures taken. No matter what the event. So I also know 100%, (because I was told), that my $3,000 photographer will be pushed aside so he can take pictures that, while very nice, are clearly amature at best. Additionally, my MIL to be doesn’t even go to my BIL to bes birthday parties and gatherings because he is going to be there. I’m just gonna dodge the whole thing, and the whole mess that could come from it and not invite him. I also asked my fiance to not put me or his mother into a position where she or I have to call this man and tell him, “You are not invited so please don’t come.” I told him to just tell him ahead of time….a lie…any lie. Ya, i’m evil.
Post # 14
@ForeverAndEverAfter: Just curious but why would you need to tell him he’s not invited? Wont he know when he doesn’t get the initation? It just seems like calling him to tell him he’s not and to please not come would just be inviting drama. Plus, it would be rude and give the ex SF legitimate reason to complain about you.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t invite him – he’s his BROTHER’S father, not his.
He sounds like an asshat.
Post # 16
He’s not your FI’s stepfather any more… I wouldn’t invite him! And he’ll figure it out when no invite comes.