(Closed) Not inviting father to wedding, how to break the news

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I may get crap for saying this- but I think you have to invite him.  I don’t think he needs to walk you down the isle, or even have a dance with you, but you can not invite the enitre house he lives with and not him.

Post # 4
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

You just have to be honest.  I am never quite sure what people are asking when they post things like this, because I am relatively sure that you DO know what you want to say.  (you weren’t there, we have no real father-daughter bond, I want to give this honor to the man that raised me)  It is just a matter of telling the truth.  It is not easy, but it is the answer.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@amandasf:  I disagree.  This is her wedding.  She can invite or not invite who she wants.  There will probably be fallout for sure, but it is her right.

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should invite him. Even if you arent that close to him, he can just be like a regular guest and not participate and be involved. I dont think you can just not invite him.

Post # 7
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Do you think you will hurt your grandparents or aunt/uncles by not inviting him?

Post # 9
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you are going to deal with a ton of crap from the rest of your family since they haven’t cut him out of their lives. For that reason, I’d invite him as a guest with no special functions.

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I also think you bite the bullet and invite him. Consider the position of the rest of the family if you don’t. Are you sure they will come if you leave him out. I would invite him and treat him as another guest, to me point made.

Post # 12
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I also think you bite the bullet and invite him. Consider the position of the rest of the family if you don’t. Are you sure they will come if you leave him out. I would invite him and treat him as another guest, to me point made.

Post # 13
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I don’t think you need to invite him, especially since it sounds that your family will support this decision. It sounds like this man is basically a stranger to you- I noticed you said biological father, vs. Dad, which says a LOT!

I think it’ll be tough, but burris4 had some good ideas how to have that conversation.

Post # 14
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@rocknrazzle: You should sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel.  It is what it is. Everybody won’t agree with the decision that you will make either way so do what will make you happy with this decision.  Personally, because I have a forgiving heart, I would invite him as a guest, but he would also know that my mom will be walking me down the aisle and I will be dancing with my stepfather. If he don’t like it then it’s his choice not to show up.

Post # 15
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@rocknrazzle:  i think it’s great that you have such a wonderful relationship with his family.  due to the circumstances, most in your position probably wouldn’t.  you can thank your mother for keeping that connection while you were young.

i agree with sjlberry and sit down with him and let you know what your plans are.  he may not even expect an invite.

 

Post # 16
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If I were in your position I would not invite him. I would however send a little letter simply noting my feelings on it and why he was not being invited. At the end of the day you need to do what will make you happy. The feelings of others around you are important but I consider personal feelings paramount. If you think that having him there will detract from your day , cause uncomfortable interactions, then by all means do not invite him.

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