(Closed) Not inviting flower girl to the rehearsal dinner-I’m in an Awkard Position

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yes, this will cause drama. But for me it would be with your FI’s parents and why they’re not allowing the 2 kids who are in the wedding party attend.

 

Post # 4
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

In my opinion, you should try convincing your FI’s parents that the kids should come to the rehearsal dinner before telling your bridesmaid that they can’t.  As long as the kids are reasonably well-behaved, they should be allowed.  The flower girl is a part of the wedding party, so I would assume she’d be at the rehearsal anyways.  

I know that no one wants to create drama with their future in-laws, especially when they are hosting a rehearsal dinner, but I do think that they are wrong to say the flower girl can’t come.

Post # 5
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with @yellowshoe. I think it would be rude to not invite the flower girl, especially considering her mother is in the wedding party. You should talk to FI’s parents.

Post # 9
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@reginaphalange: okay I just saw your user name and have to say I LOVE it too! It cracks me up!

Post # 10
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@billyjoelfan:  I think that depends on your relationship with his parents.  If it were me, I would probably ask him to talk to them.

If he talks to them and it doesn’t work, then you should talk to them and just say that it’s non-negotiable.  Tell them that you really appreciate their offer to host, but if their offer is conditional on it being an adults-only dinner, then you’re afraid you’ll have to make alternative arrangements.   It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or fancy.

Post # 11
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Sure, the kids are not going to THEIR rehersal dinner, its yours 🙂 They are part of the rehersal so I feel like they should also be part of the rehersal dinner! After all, isnt that what the rehersal dinner is for? To treat those that came to the rehersal? I think you should talk to your Fiance about it and have him talk to his parents. If they insist that they don’t want the kids there, I would just pay for it myself if I were you. You want them to give you the dinner out of the kindness of their hearts not because t hey want to attach strings and start throwing rank around. 

Post # 12
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@billyjoelfan: I would totally have Fiance talk to his parents… I don’t quiet understand where his parents are coming from on this – the flower girl has to be at the rehearsal so why not the rehearsal dinner too? and if her mom is a Bridesmaid or Best Man and will be at the rehearsal dinner what is she supposed to do with her daughter? plu kids meals are much cheaper than adult meals and they dont drink! i would talk to Fiance and see if he cant try and convince his parents, unless you feel comfortable doing it, at the time i wouldnt have felt comfortable.

Post # 14
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would thing old enough to be a flower girl is old enough to sit through a dinner.

If the younger child is really young enough too cry uncontrolably throughout the dinner, maybe you could provide childcare?  You could find a couple qualified, recommended babysitters to watch the children of your rehearsal dinner guests at a nearby home or hotel. Note sure what rates are in your area, but check care.com to see if that could be an option. 

Post # 16
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@billyjoelfan: Have you talked to your Bridesmaid or Best Man about this and see what she thinks? i’d fill her in on the in-laws point of view and be sure to let her know its not you at all. if she isn’t offended and wouldnt mind having someone watch the girls then maybe you can avoid the drama of the in-laws. Just a suggestion. on the other side of that i think if the kids were there and if the child did end up crying i’m sure your Bridesmaid or Best Man would be glad to pick them up and leave the room for a few minutes as to not disrupt the dinner.

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