(Closed) Not inviting flower girl to the rehearsal dinner-I’m in an Awkard Position

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

It is your wedding not theirs. They should not be telling you who is and is not allowed to be at your rehearsal dinner. If they are going to behave this way I would throw the dinner yourself. You have every right to have things exactly the way you want them

Post # 20
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

In the interest of providing a different perspective, I think that it seems a little ungrateful and inflexible to tell your in-laws, “No thanks, I’ll pay for the rehersal dinner because it is so important for these two children to be there”. If it were me, I’d have Fiance talk to them. Unless they are completely unreasonable people, they might change their mind. If your in-laws won’t budge, I then would present it to your bridesmaid that they said her kids couldn’t come, which really isn’t your issue. In the end, you have to choose your battles with your in-laws, and declining their rehersal dinner is harsh. You might not want to make that decision for the sake of your future relationship. 

Post # 22
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@billyjoelfan: I’m in the opposite position, I’m having kids at the rehearsal dinner, but not at my wedding! 

Couldn’t your Bridesmaid or Best Man just take the kids out of the room during the speech.  That would eliminate the problem that they “might cry” and honestly unless the speech is going to be very long, I think I quick trip away from the table would be good for the kids and put your FIL’s minds at ease.   Or you could create bags of activities to keep them busy/distracted.  Coloring books, stickers, bubbles, whatever.

I don’t think it’s right to include the kids in the rehearsal, but not have them at the dinner. I would think if they are ok to be at the wedding, then they are ok to be at the rehearsal.  They are part of the wedding party, so by all intents and purposes, should be at both the rehearsal and dinner.

Post # 23
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
@LibraryBride2013: I don’t think it’s right to include the kids in the rehearsal, but not have them at the dinner.

Agreed. It is just not proper and what on earth are the parents of the child supposed to do with their kid while THEY attend the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 24
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

Even tho your FIL’s are hosting this party/dinner, they are doing it for the bridal party and close family, right? How then can they justify that a member is to be excluded because of the ‘what ifs’? This isn’t the royal wedding for goodness sake, so how can a Father’s speech be so important?

The way this is being put is completely self-serving of them. I’d say thanks but no thanks and plan it yourselves. 

Post # 25
Member
5517 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

if a kid cries during a speech, its not the end of the world. seriously, the event wont be ruined. thats pretty dramatic

The topic ‘Not inviting flower girl to the rehearsal dinner-I’m in an Awkard Position’ is closed to new replies.

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