Post # 1
When we got engaged I was quite happy having a adult only wedding – our wedding is 1.5 hours from where most guests live.
However, my future mother in law – suggested that we have my fi’s neices and nephews in the ceremony – and I ofcouse said yes – there is no way i would say no if thats what the family wanted.
BUT we have still said no kids to the reception. The verandah sits on the water/large pond…there is a main road outside and if we invited family kids we would have to invite all kids – which would be about 30 kids at a evening dinner.
I feel bad that they have to get a babysitter for the night, one that they may not know because we have to all stay over…BUT I didnt want to kids there to begin with…and said yes to the ceremony just to keep the peace.
What are your thoughts? Do you think they will understand – i mean they say they do – but i still feel like i am putting them out.
Post # 3
@bianca123: Can you offer to pay for the sitter? I understand not wanting kids at the reception, but if the niece & nephew are in the wedding, it doesn’t seem unreasonable for their parents to have expected they’d be able to bring them to the reception.
Post # 4
Yeh that be a good option thanks for that.
Yeh when my fi’s sister said to me “you dont have to include them in the ceremony if you dont want to” i basically said then and there that we had always wanted adults only, but happy to include them for the ceremony.
It was said a little more nicer than that…but they seemed to totally understand that the party was a evenign thing.
Its just so hard because I didnt ask them to be involved, they asked us if they could be involved?!
Post # 5
I’d mention that while you’d like to involve the kids in the wedding, you were hoping for an adults only reception. It’s not unheard of to get a sitter for the little ones once the ceremony is over. Some people, unfortunately take great offense in this, while others are more understanding. If they take offense, offer to pay for the sitter or maybe suggest not including them in the wedding at all to keep the peace with other guests who’ll have to make special accomodations for their children.
Post # 6
It is very rude to not invite them to the reception. The reception is a way to thank your guests/wedding party for coming out and supporting you. Just because they are kids doesn’t mean you can not thank them for being in your wedding. If you didn’t want any kids then you should have had no kids.
When you asked them to be in your party you invited them to the reception. By not inviting them it looks like you just wanted ‘show children’ to be in your pictures and be cute walking down the aisle, but without having to host them.
You can invite the wedding party children and no others. No one can be mad about that.
Post # 7
I don’t think there is anything wrong with inviting them to the reception but not allowing other children to attend. Do you just not want to invite them to the reception because you feel as if you must invite all children then? We are only having my fiance’s daughter at the wedding and possibly my friends daughter. It’s your wedding, you can invite whoever you want. If people don’t like that then they don’t need to share in your special day!
Post # 8
@bianca123: I have a flower girl in my wedding but she wont be coming to the reception. The mother is my Fiance best Woman – and shes happy that shes taking the little one home. Shes excited to have a night out without the kids.